I've found the lyrics to the song in my heart
you don't know how sick and tired i am
I can't wait to escape
It's become an subconscious thought in my head
I feel my wings have broken in your hands
I feel the words unspoken inside


What did i do to deserve this
It was my own choice
but there's really no reason
for you to act this way
*When they pull you under
And I would give you anything you want
Well all I wanted
^All my dreams have fallen down
Crawling around somebody save me
And two warm hands break right through me


I hate this feeling inside
I'm too tired to even cry
Too stressed for tears to flow
Can't breathe when i face you anymore
#Somebody save me
I don't care how you do it
Just stay
Stay
Come on
I've been waiting for you


It scares me the feeling i have inside
I think you do realize
how broken I am
Sometimes i think of ending it all
just wait i tell my self
wait
I see the world has folded in your heart
I feel the waves crash down inside

*/^/#

It tears me apart to feel this way
Don't know what to do
Helpless till the end
All i can do is wait
just one more day
I've made this whole world shine for
Just stay
Stay
Come on
I'm still waiting for you


I'm breaking apart
I'll never be myself again
I can't think
I can't see your face anymore

There are no lyrics to describe how i feel
it's all too complicated and crazy.
Please somebody take me away.
I want to run as far as I can go
I don't wanna feel no more.
It hurts so bad.

I don't wanna see her face again
don't feel like seeing her no more
I can't help it
I don't like it here.
Please somebody save me.

You've changed. Or at least I think you do.
Why does this keep happening.
I don't understand you anymore
I close my eyes and remember
the old times we had.
I miss you
Miss you so bad
I don't forget you
Oh it's so sad.

I want to shout in your face
to make you listen
to wake you up
can't you see what you're doing to yourself
I hope you can hear me
I remember it clearly.

And now, you'll never be the same
or at least we won't. There's just too many things
happening at once. the path gone can't be recovered
[Chorus]
The day you slipped away.....
Was the day i found
It, won't be the same

There's just too many regrets for me
I feel disappointed and sad at the same time
I can't pretend that i'm not angry
I just don't understand you anymore
I didn't get around to kiss you
Goodbye on the hand
I wish that I could see you again
I know that I can't
I hope you can hear me
Cause I remember it clearly

Don't you think that you should do something
perhaps not, but I think that it's not anything else
it's just you. I don't know why it has changed
so suddenly
[Chorus]
The day you slipped away...
Was the day i found
It, won't be the same


Maybe i just wasn't willing to see from the beginning
Maybe you were like this all along
I t breaks my heart to see you this way
I've had my wake up
Won't you wake up
I keep asking why.
And I can't take it
It wasn't fake it
It happened you passed by

Don't you know that you're only hurting yourself
We're not trying to fight you
I don't know why you feel this way
Can't you see what's best for you
Now you're gone
Now you're gone
There you go
There you go
Somewhere I can't bring you back

I think you know deep inside
you're just not opening your eyes
I still love you as much as before
Now you're gone
Now you're gone
There you go
There you go
Somewhere you're not coming back

[Chorus]X2

I miss you~

我想用华语他才看不懂
我们其实没有认识很久，
可是。。。
已经忘记了到底等待了多久
你还没把那句话说出口
街上的情侣手牵着手 我们只有沉默
这种感觉有些尴尬
每个人也在问我们什么时候

或许这不是最好的时机
或许你肯本没有那么想
*从朋友到恋人究竟多少步骤
你永远只会静静看着我
期待着某天会萌芽结果
会不会就这样落空
我知道你不会主动
但你知道我会等你

当别人问起，我会否认
我只会微笑说
我们是好朋友 还只是好朋友
但朋友的线我们早跨过
脑海里头总是充满你的笑容
我知道你也有同样的感受
但如果我是错的告诉我
不要这样玩我

我知道比有些心结要解决
所以到现在
我们是好朋友 还只是好朋友
如果没勇气会这样错过
一句话就够其他都别多说
我等着你开口说爱我
你知道我不会说
或许不是命中注定

*
你对我来说很珍贵
我不想失去你这个朋友
多少寂寞
因为有你的陪伴而渡过
不要想的太多
想想曾有的不该没把握
可能我再等多一下
就会有结果 我常对自己说

我想暗示你， 但你也没什么反应
你到底知不知道 我心里的念头
我们是好朋友还只是好朋友
在这个位置等待了多久
紧紧守着彼此我们都能够接受
为何要留下为什么
你要是不喜欢 那为什么这样
留下那么多问号是为什么

难道是我读错 你没有感觉吗
这暧昧的感觉好难受 你明不明白
我们是好朋友还只是好朋友
如果没勇气会这样错过
一句话就够其他都别多说
我等着你开口说爱我
说你爱我

~~end~~

I'm gonna say that I'm not just some weak fragile little girl
I'm not as vulnerable as i may seem to be
I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
But you, you just break my heart
and i can't cry, not anymore, the tears are dry

I know that i'm not being overly sensitive
I just think that i've lost you on the way, down the road
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while even though
Goin' on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm okay
But that's not what gets me
You don't understand what has gone wrong
You still think that all is fine
But I've already gone on so far

My heart bleeds from the love that i've given
You've changed so much, so fast
What hurts the most
Was being so close
And havin' so much to say
And watchin' you walk away
I'm not sure if you realize my change in attitude
I don't think the new you understands me enough

It saddens me that our relationship could have been different
I always say time will tell, but there's no more time
I kinda regret it, for you and me
And never knowin'
What could've been
And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was tryin' to do
I've never said it cos i didn't want to spoil the friendship we had
but you spoiled it anyway

I feel so desolated and i don't understand why it's like this
Is there really no way to change it anymore
It's hard to deal with the pain of losin' you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' it
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still harder gettin' up, gettin' dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken
I don't want them anymore, I want to throw them away
I say i've forgotten, i've let go
But in actual fact it there, just hidden deeper than ever

*Chorus

I'm sorry but we can't just be friends anymore
We're less than friends,but i'll always
have the old you here, in my heart.

There are so many thing going on these days.
I don't know what to do anymore.
It seems like time is slipping away
there are days where i just feel like
curling up and listen to the rain fall.
I can hear the truck tires coming up the gravel road
And it's not like her to drive that slow, nothing's on the radio
Footsteps on the front porch, I hear my doorbell
She usually comes right in, now I can tell

I've finally realized that it's all wrong
that everything that i've been doing
is not for the greater good
it was just me being delusional.
So i think that perhaps, to all my
struggle to keep things where they are,
Here comes goodbye
Here comes the last time
Here comes the start of every sleepless night
The first of every tear I'm gonna cry

It's not going to be easy
I already miss what i'm going to let go.
but, it's something that i have to do.
Something i tell myself i'm not going to regret.
Here comes the pain
Here comes me wishing things had never changed
And she was right here in my arms tonight
But here comes goodbye

My heart feels so heavy
like i'll drown if i fall into the water
I close my eyes to pray
that'll i'll be happier this way
I can hear her say "I love you" like it was yesterday
And I can see it written on her face that she had never felt this way
One day I thought I'd see her with her daddy by her side
And violins would play Here Comes The Bride

[chorus]

Is it only a dream unable to come true,
only time can tell i guess.
I'm really really going to give this love up.
Why's it have to go from good to gone?
Before the lights turn on Yeah, and you're left alone
Oh! But here comes goodbye! Oh!

[chorus]

I guess it's really goodbye my love.
You'll probably never know.
It's not that bad,
i'll heal, i know i will.
And i'll never know if you felt the same...

I've been so stressed this week
so stressed that every single
little thing will drive me insane.
Till today, i realize that i've been
neglecting so many things in my life.

i've always felt that i was
struggling along in my life
and that no one could understand.
It seems like there no end to this struggle.
That it will go on for forever.

But i know now that i've been looking
at the small picture of everything.
That the world doesn't revolve
on my pain alone.
That i've been too focused on things that
SEEMED to matter.

I have to learn to widen my scope
and look at the big picture.
I'll have to know what really matters
and not blindly listen to all the things
around me, surrounding me.

When i saw my baby cousin today,
i realize that innocence is not
the amount of knowledge that you know
but the attitude you have towards others.
You laugh just because they laugh.

It's not stupidity.
it simple joy.
My cousin, she laughs like an angel,.
i don't think she truly understands
what i'm laughing about, but she laughs
with so much happiness
it's astounding.

She makes it seem that there is no sadness
in this cold cruel world.
Than i understand the truth.
It's not that world is cold and cruel,
it's just that i've grown to judge others that way.

Perhaps it's time for me to learn how
to laugh again. How to laugh simply.
Just for the plain reason that i'm happy
because you are.
Perhaps that's the real meaning of true love.
Being able to smile even when it hurts inside.

It's not a forced smile,
it's true happiness stemmed from yours....

Waking up I see that everything is OK
The first time in my life and now it's so great
Slowing down I look around and I am so amazed
I think about the little things that make life great

I wouldn't change a thing about it
This is the best feeling

[Chorus]
This innocence is brilliant
I hope that it will stay
This moment is perfect
Please don't go away
I need you now
And I'll hold on to it
Don't you let it pass you by

I found a place so safe, not a single tear
The first time in my life and now it's so clear
Feel calm, I belong, I'm so happy here
It's so strong and now I let myself be sincere

I wouldn't change a thing about it
This is the best feeling

[Chorus]

It's a state of bliss, you think you're dreaming
It's the happiness inside that you're feeling
It's so beautiful it makes you wanna cry
It's a state of bliss, you think you're dreaming
It's the happiness inside that you're feeling
It's so beautiful it makes you wanna cry

It's so beautiful it makes you wanna cry
This innocence is brilliant
Makes you wanna cry
This innocence is brilliance
Please don't go away
Cause I need you now
And I'll hold on to it
Don't you let it pass you by

[Chorus]

Sometimes in our lives we all have pain
We all have sorrow
But if we are wise
We know that there's always tomorrow

Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

Please swallow your pride
If I have things you need to borrow
For no one can fill those of your needs
That you don't let show

Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

If there is a load you have to bear
That you can't carry
I'm right up the road
I'll share your load
If you just call me

So just call on me brother, when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you'd understand
We all need somebody to lean on

Lean on me when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
Till I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

Sigh...big sigh...BIGGER SIGH...

This week was filled with
ups and downs, left and rights
So many things that were right
so many that were wrong too.

The force of motivation has now changed
I have to do it with ALL of God's will
none of my strength.
Soo, Soo tired.
But no.....

I must scrape myself off the floor
no matter what.
I am RACHEL the STUBBORN right?
Really,
who am I to say who's right
Who's wrong?

As i student, all i have to do is accept
and work at it.
Sometimes i feel like, just ending it all.
then i realize that I've forgotten to drink my coffee
for the day.
no wonder half/ fully insane.

So,
Rachel! You MUST fight!
All the way.
No giving up!
You just have to grit your teeth and do.
It'll be over soon. in 2 more months.

So get it done and over with.
You can and you must!
ok that was soo...prep talk.

But i can't deny that i've been feeling
lousy and loww these couple of days.
Complicated stuff.
So i tell myself,
i better pray hard
and even harder to pick my wounded self
off the mud, pick up my broken
bones and scattered insides
as well as my body parts and
trudge through whatever i need to.

GAMBATTE_NE!!!!