Sigh...big sigh...BIGGER SIGH...

This week was filled with
ups and downs, left and rights
So many things that were right
so many that were wrong too.

The force of motivation has now changed
I have to do it with ALL of God's will
none of my strength.
Soo, Soo tired.
But no.....

I must scrape myself off the floor
no matter what.
I am RACHEL the STUBBORN right?
Really,
who am I to say who's right
Who's wrong?

As i student, all i have to do is accept
and work at it.
Sometimes i feel like, just ending it all.
then i realize that I've forgotten to drink my coffee
for the day.
no wonder half/ fully insane.

So,
Rachel! You MUST fight!
All the way.
No giving up!
You just have to grit your teeth and do.
It'll be over soon. in 2 more months.

So get it done and over with.
You can and you must!
ok that was soo...prep talk.

But i can't deny that i've been feeling
lousy and loww these couple of days.
Complicated stuff.
So i tell myself,
i better pray hard
and even harder to pick my wounded self
off the mud, pick up my broken
bones and scattered insides
as well as my body parts and
trudge through whatever i need to.

GAMBATTE_NE!!!!