Whahaha. i finally managed to get in.
i've locked myself outside for months.
YIPEE!!!!
i know...so silly right. sigh....

I'm really not sure why,
but i feel so mentally tired these few days.
my dad's convinced that it cos i've
not enough sleep.
but i really think otherwise.

maybe it's just all the stuff that's been going
or NOT going on around me.
i dunno. Anw, i'm determined to just ignore
all of them. me and my world.

In my world, there's not such thing as politics,
everyone loves each other.
Everyone has an equal chance to become whoever
they want to.
But in my world, ice cream won't make you fat and
chocolate is a health product so that's all
not gonna happen. Too bad!

Because there's no such thing as a perfect world.
that's why these things happen.

so here i am in my pathetic room
in front of my stupid computer thinking.
I lose myself in all these fights
I lose my sense of wrong and right
I cry, I cry
It's shaking from the pain that's in my head
I just wanna crawl into my bed
And throw away the life I led
But I won't let it die, but I won't let it die
no not my heart. i won't.

But i can't. i really can't. i feel so low.
Im all out of faith, this is how I feel
Im cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
Im wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
Youre a little late, Im already torn
All that's left of me is just....
is just...

Ooooooo I ve been travelin on this road to long
Just trying to find my way back home
The old me is dead and gone dead and gone dead and gone
Ooooooo I ve been travelin on this road to long
Just trying to find my way back home
The old me is dead and gone dead and gone eeyy
but i can't right, cos i'm christian. so i can't just
say die and die. and i don't want to end it all
like that. but...

I'm so tired of being here, suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave
Your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
So now i'm stuck here. doing what i do.
thinking what i think. helpless to just
everything.

i really don't know. i don't know what i want.
my heart's desire? i can't even tell myself.
everyday is just another day to surpass this one.
You will never understand what you mean to me
You are my life
Before you, I was lost
And as I see you sleep now
I'll let you know somehow
Saving you saved me
My heart is yours to keep
Now sleep...