Dream a little dream

2010-11-24T18:20:00.007+08:00

"But love is blind, and lovers cannot see

The pretty follies that themselves commit."

I still remember the look on your face
Lit through the darkness at 1:58
The words that you whispered for just us to know
You told me you loved me
So why did you go away
Away

I do recall now, the smell of the rain
Fresh on the pavement
I ran off the plane
That July ninth, the beat of your heart
It jumps through your shirt
I can still feel your arms

But now I'll go, sit on the floor
Wearing your clothes
All that I know is I don't know
How to be something you miss
I never thought we'd have a last kiss
Never imagined we'd end like this
Your name, forever the name on my lips

I do remember the swing of your step
The life of the party, you're showing off again
And I'd roll my eyes and then you'd pull me in
I'm not much for dancing, but for you I did
Because I love your handshake, meeting my father
I love how you walk with your hands in your pockets
How you'd kiss me when I was in the middle of saying something
There's not a day I don't miss those rude interruptions

And I'll go sit on the floor
Wearing your clothes
All that I know is I don't know
How to be something you miss
I never thought we'd have a last kiss
Never imagined we'd end like this
Your name, forever the name on my lips

So I'll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep
And I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe
And I'll keep up with our old friends
Just to ask them how you are
Hope it's nice where you are

And I hope the sun shines and it's a beautiful day
And something reminds you you wish you had stayed
You can plan for a change in the weather and time
But I never planned on you changing your mind

So I'll go, sit on the floor wearing your clothes
All that I know is I don't know how to be something you miss
I never thought we'd have a last kiss
Never imagined we'd end like this
Your name, forever the name on my lips
Just like our last kiss
Forever the name on my lips
Forever the name on my lips
Just like our last

what else can I say it's all over and done with

i once did fall in the trap of love

thinking that once gained, never lost

but it seems that it's not that

and will never be

the promises made

they don't count cos of love

the pacts made they won't matter

cos of love

the pain that beats on me like a drum

will hardly ebb away

the shatter i hear

it's that of my heart

we'll work at it

and perhaps one day

we'll realize what is love

till then...

like what antoinette says

"don't make promises

then you can't break them."

2010-11-03T09:48:00.003+08:00

“You must be strong now. You must never give up. And when people make you cry and you are afraid of the dark, don't forget the light is always there.”

Life is crazy
i'm so close to taking my exams
and i can say that i'm not ready
so shit for me.
But oh well
i don't think i really care anymore.
what's right and what's not.
is there really a difference....

Oh I've been going through a hell of a time
Making sense of everything you left behind
When I arrange it into columns and lines
I always think it's adding up, but it never does

So in the morning maybe
I'll be alright
And through the day
I'll prepare for the fight
With a fever on a Saturday night
Cause this is giving me the shakes and butterflies, oh

#
And if you don't stop running you can never breathe
When everything you want is everything you see
But when it comes to decision baby, him or me
Well I hope you can feel the need

*
What made you an alley cat scratching me?
You dig deep with your nails and flash your teeth
And run off to where your next big meal could be
What made you an alley cat scratching me?
You dig deep with your nails and flash your teeth
And run off because you must be tired of me
Run off because you must be tired of me

And there's a scene I will always replay
At the moment when my hand touched your face
I could see your eyes turning away
But I've been standing my ground with you babe

#*

And now I fall in love with somebody everyday
As they step aside when I'm walking by,
or smile at something I say
But I promised you it would never get in the way
Of stability but the joke's on me,
cause you were the one who got carried away

Oh, you got carried away
Well he carried you away
Carried you away
Carried you away
Carried you away

2010-10-29T17:19:00.003+08:00

I wish i knew why

why i'm so mean

why i can't be normal

why i can't be unbitchy to my friends

why i can't be a good and perfect gf

I can only pray you'll accept me as i am

cos i know that without you

i dunno what i'm gonna do

even though i also say heck it

Why do birds suddenly appear

Every time you are near?

Just like me,

they long to be Close to you.

Why do stars fall down from the sky

Every time you walk by?

Just like me,

they long to be Close to you.

On the day that you were born

The angels got together

And decided to create a dream come true

So they sprinkled moon dust in your hair of gold

And starlight in your eyes of blue.

That is why all the girls in town

Follow you all around.

Just like me,

they long to be Close to you.

On the day that you were born

The angels got together

And decided to create a dream come true

So they sprinkled moon dust in your hair of gold

And starlight in your eyes of blue.

That is why all the girls in town

Follow you all around.

Just like me,

they long to be Close to you.

Just like me (Just like me)

They long to be Close to you.

JUST WISH I BLOODY KNEW WHY

2010-10-11T13:58:00.002+08:00

I'm currently sick
of life
of work
and of all these boring subjects i'm studying
I feel like running away and going to become a
fisherwoman!
But who am I kidding
I love shopping to much.

If my heart has grown cold
There Your love will unfold
As You open my eyes
to the work of Your hand

But then again
Sometimes I feel life is like
an absurdist DRAMA
GIBBERISH, NON-SEQUITUR LANGUAGE
BEING USED ALL DAY
Just take the recent ACJC scandal persay
the girls were kissing...
is that considered sex...?
I dunno...
An the girl who took it stood on the sink to do so
is that sick or sick?

When I’m blind to my way
There Your Spirit will pray
As You open my eyes
to the work of Your hand
As You open my eyes
to the work of Your hand

Yet, no one is bothered by those facts
and I will not let these rumors bother me.
No. I'll study well and show
Singapore that who needs you.
Sigh..the uncertainty of life.

Oceans will part nations come
At the whisper of Your call
Hope will rise glory shone
In my life Your will be done

For now, having what i have
is enought to be thankful for.
To keep me strong and ongoing.
I'm glad i have you my lovessss
Too keep me smiling each and everyday.

Present suffering may pass
Lord Your mercy will last
As You open my eyes
to the work of Your hand

So i'll press on
and carry oin asnd trudge through
this pathetic life of mine
and pray that God will hurry find a way
or a purpose for me to go on.

And my heart will find praise
I’ll delight in Your way
As You open my eyes
to the work of Your hand
As You open my eyes
to the work of Your hand

And till then,
i'll delight in simple joy
allowing love to overcome all my adversities
allowing God to work in my life
and hopefully
what is God's will
will be aligned with mine.

Oceans will part nations come
At the whisper of your call
Hope will rise glory shone
In my life Your will be done

Amen.

2010-09-26T21:28:00.001+08:00

2010-09-26T20:36:00.003+08:00

There's really nothing to say

posted this beacause i really
wanted to thank you for
all the help you've given me
during this super difficult period

For everything you've endured
and all the tears you've lovingly
wiped instead of frustratedly
sighing and walking away.

For letting me whine
and be naughty
for letting me never having
to be somebody else
i'm really thankful.
and i think mee and you
we're like dou jiang you tiao
The perfect us- pls scroll down


喝纯白的豆浆是纯白的浪漫
望着你可爱脸庞和你纯真的模样 
我傻傻对你笑是你有种解药 
你说我就像油条很简单却很美好  

我知道你和我就像是豆浆油条  
要一起吃下去味道才会是最好  
你需要我的傻笑我需要你的拥抱 
爱情就需要这样它才不会单调

我知道有时候也需要吵吵闹闹  
但始终也知道只有你对我最好  
豆浆离不开油条
让我爱你爱到老  
爱情就需要这样它才幸福美好
 
我知道都知道你知道你都知道
好不好别偷笑让我知道 
好不好别偷笑让我知道就好  
我喝完热豆浆眷恋着还想要 
你吃完金黄油条爱情又要再发酵

2010-09-03T20:27:00.003+08:00

I can't wait to lay my hands on the iphone!!!
my dad just got me one!!!
exciting~~~
yay!
just pray that i won't lose it
knowing my pea brained self
or drop it
knowing my butter HANDS.
sigh...
will be praying hard.
still...
nevermind.
Whee.

So I got my boots on, got the right 'mount of leather
And I'm doing me up with a black color liner
And I'm workin' my strut but I know it don't matter
All we need in this world is some love
There's a thin line 'tween the dark side and the light side baby tonight
It's a struggle gotta rumble trying to find it

But if I had you, that would be the only thing that i would ever need
Yeah if I had you, then money fame and fortune never could compete
If I had you, life would be a party it'd be ecstasy
If I had you
You you you you you
If I had you

From New York to LA getting high rock n' rollin
Get a room trash it up 'til it's ten in the morning
Girls in stripper heels, boys rolling in Maseratis
What they need in this world is some love
It's a fair line between a wild time and a flat line baby tonight
It's a struggle gotta rumble tryin' to find it

But if I had you, that would be the only thing that I would ever need
Yeah if I had you, then money fame and fortune never could compete
If I had you, life would be a party it'd be ecstasy
If I had you
You you you you you
If I had

The flashing of the lights
It might feel so good but I've got you stuck on my mind, yeah
The fashion and the stage it might get me high
But it don't mean a thing tonight

That would be the only thing that I would ever need
If I had you, then money fame or fortune never could compete
If I had you, life would be a party it'd be ecstasy
If I had you
You you you you you
If I had you

If I had you
That would be the only thing that I would ever need
Yeah if I had you, then money fame and fortune never could compete (never could compete with you)
If I had you, life would be a party it'd be ecstasy (it'd be ecstasy with you)
If I had you
You you you you you
If I had you

2010-09-01T08:44:00.003+08:00

Peeing -Old- Lady- By -The -Road- Side and lots of SHOPPING!!!!

For once, there will be no lyrics embedded in my post. Although I do like that very much. I think it's expressive. Thus, this blog shall be dedicated to Miss Yingz who complains about it so. haha. Sorry, for the use of proper language for once, aftermath of having just ended prelims and am loads screwed cos my dad...is back. So sad...he makes mornings so noisy. RAWR. Can't take it. Anyways...super excited because I am going to get a haircut later. I'm just going for a trim but ah...what the heck.

So of all things to see yesterday, while taking the bus to somerset, at a busy crossroad junction near rivervalley, me and Yingz saw a old lady squatting by the road side. Thje conversation went like this:

Yingz: Is that old lady peeing. OMG, what is she doing
Me: after you serious? Siow ar. Cannot be.
Yingz: Yes she is, got water coming out.
Me: no lar

It is at that point in time, as i vividly recall, that she chose to stand up and turn around and reveal to us her bare wrinkly ASS. We totally stared at each other in shock. Unbelievable.

Me: Oh shit.
Yingz: She should find somewhere more discreet, not in the middle of a busy road.

she freaking crazy that old lady. Whatever.
So we went shopping~~~ and Yvonne couldn't go cos she went back to her secondary school with her besties to meet her teachers for teachers day whom were not as free to meet her! haha. okok, Rachel the evil. RAWR.
So me an Yingz went to buy shoes and she totally bought a cute and to-die-for but oh-so-unwearable shoe. In the end, she had it changed to a more practical one. haha.

Am so glad i have friends like her. Keeps me entertained. And friends like KY who i dearly love. I love you too yingz. kiss. haha.

2010-08-25T23:03:00.001+08:00

just for laughs.
latest new book of the month
haha.
well photoshopped eh...

2010-08-25T22:57:00.004+08:00

on that note..
i've been feeling a little under the weather lately
and the doctor said that it's just gastric
silly me
having a high metabolic rate and still drinking
yakult. haha.
so today while puking into the toilet bowl
at the Bugis library
guess what happened.

of all things to happen to me.

no celebrity sighting
no meeting of a crazy person
(except when i looked into the mirroe)
not even a stuck toilet bowl.

I got shocked by the toilet bowl
flushing in my face because of the
bloody sensor
i even shrieked.
sigh

worse the lady in the cubicle beside me
later gave me a stare saying i know
you're anorexic girl...
well, who could blame her.
fat vomiting girl.
that's what you get.

2010-08-25T22:34:00.002+08:00

Today, just for the convenience of it
i went to visit my toddler cousin
we played, laughed, giggled
when it struck me that
it's been a really really long time
since i had that much fun

Once in awhile I act like a child to feel like a kid again
It gets like a prison in the body I'm living in
Cause everyone's watching and quick to start talking
I'm losing my innocence
Wish I were a little girl without the weight of the world

It seems that after growing up
hugs were no longer meant for grandparents
and love meant buying something
why can't it be time well spent together

CHORUS
It would be nice to start over again
Before we were men
I'd give, I'd bend, lets play pretend

Since when
did time become too little to spend
with family and relatives
from when did being happy seem
so far away

Remember the times we had soda for wine
And we got by on gratitude
The worst they could do to you was check your attitude
Yeah when fights were for fun, with water in guns,
And a place we could call our own
How we lost hold of home I guess Ill never know

I would like it very much to go back
to having simple pleasures
to being able to laugh just because.
Smiling with others just for.
Hugging just to love.

CHORUS
And when its the end,
Our lives will make sense
Well love, well bend, lets play pretend
It's not going to be long before were all gone with nothing to show for them
Stop taking lives, come on lets all grow up again

but oh well..
i suppose i'm as childish as they get
all my friends already do say that
i'm slightly overly cheery.
I suppose that once upon a time
can only be renewed
with children the age of my heart.

2010-08-24T23:25:00.004+08:00

Note to all out there:
I hate people who don't listen on the phone.
If i say my dad will be back at 10 plus or 11
I do not think it means 9.30
no.
And i don't think you would know my dad's schedule
better than i do.

P.S Did your mom never taught how
to read a clock.

People who don't listen on the phone = idiots
even my 5 year old cousin can do better than that.

2010-08-24T22:49:00.004+08:00

I love to sing
but people just have to make life difficult
by adding evaluation to the equation

I am a question to the world
Not an answer to be heard
Or a moment
That's held in your arms

And what do you think you'd ever say?
I won't listen anyway
You don't know me
And I'll never be what you want me to be

And what do you think you'd understand?
I'm a boy, no, I'm a man
You can't take me
And throw me away

And how can you learn what's never shown?
Yeah, you stand here on your own
They don't know me
Cause I'm not here

#Chorus:
And I want a moment to be real
Wanna touch things I don't feel
Wanna hold on and feel I belong

And how can the world want me to change?
They're the ones that stay the same
They don't know me
Cause I'm not here

And you see the things they never see
All you wanted I could be
Now you know me
And I'm not afraid

And I want to tell you who I am
Can you help me be a man?
They can't break me
As long as I know who I am

#Chorus
They can't tell me who to be
Cause I'm not what they see
Yeah, the world is still sleepin while I keep on dreaming for me
And their words are just whispers and lies that I'll never believe

#Chorus I'm the one now
Cause I'm still here x2
I'm still here x3

I seriously don't understand
why can't I sing out loud
why can't anyone
Singing is A FEELING
not a technique
PUH~LEASE...

2010-08-23T20:34:00.001+08:00

Things to do before i die:

Kissing with the screen characters

Check.

2010-08-23T13:07:00.003+08:00

Motto for A'levels:
To strive to the best
even if i keep falling
and to pick myself up
and continue to the end

Today was when i realized that
in this world you are all alone
no matter what happens no matter how tragic
no matter how horrible no one will care.

The world won't stop, neither will time
however bad your math paper is
nah huh
time ain't gonna stop for you.

So i better study while i can
soar while there's still time.

One of these days you'll be under the covers
You'll be under the table and you'll realize
That all of your days are numbered, all of them one to one hundred
All of them millions, all of them trillions

So what are you gonna do with them all?
You can not trade them in for more, no, no

Take every moment, you know that you own them
It's all you can do, use what's been given to you

Gimme a reason to fight the feeling
That there's nothing here for me
'Cause none of it's easy, I know it wasn't meant to be
I know it's all up to me, it's all up to me

So what am I gonna do with my time?

I'll take every moment, I know that I own them
It's all up to you to do whatever you choose
Live like you're dying and never stop trying
It's all you can do, use what's been given to you

All of the moments you didn't notice gone in the blink of an eye
And all of the feelings you can't help feeling no matter how you try

Take every moment, you know that you own them
It's all up to you to do whatever you choose
Live like you're dying and never stop trying
It's all you can do, use what's been given to you

Live like you're dying and never stop trying
It's all up to you, use what's been given to you

2010-08-22T00:53:00.001+08:00

Things to do before I die:
Kissing when the fireworks go boom

CHECK.

2010-08-22T00:07:00.004+08:00

Today was just plain fun
the whole day was like total drama
I, we, experienced sadness, joy frustration, exhilaration
almost everything right
talk about peaks and troughs.
Started out ok but...
hmm...pout.

I'm just listening to the clock go ticking,
I am waiting as the time goes by.
I think of you with every breath I take,
I need to feel your heartbeat next to mine.
You're all I see, in everything.

Esplanade was just fun
food, food and more food
i don't think KY's family eats little
i'll never believe it again.
Then the cute Korean David Choi
Note to self:
Will never get caught in crowd again

I just wanna hold you,
I just wanna kiss you,
I just wanna love you all my life.
I normally wouldn't say this,
but I just can't contain it.
I want you here forever,
right here by my side.

The long walk to the new Marina Sands was
eye-opening. laughter. sweat. calorie burning.
I saw The TORCH.
Yup. YOG torch. what a waste of CO2
Then we saw wastage of electricity with
lights and aircon and unused fans and screens
but what's life without them right.

All the fears you feel inside,
and all the tears you cry,
they're ending right here.
I'll heal your heart and soul;
I'll keep you oh so close.
Don't worry; I'll never let you go.
You're all I need, you're everything.

With everything expensive and pricy
all we could do at Marina Sands was eat.
So chocolate ice-blended and cheesecake it is
fattening but oh-so-good~~~
grins. Oh well,
at least we enjoyed the coin well with
funny sound systems
and sexy slit walkers with a nice butt
and FIREWORKS!!!!
my first and probably only time.

I just wanna hold you,
I just wanna kiss you,
I just wanna love you all my life.
I normally wouldn't say this,
but I just can't contain it.
I want you here forever,
right here by my side.

The walk back was nice
though tired and Sezairi sang awfully well
KY twirled me around like a princess
though not successful with me being fat
but it was sweet. melts me.
Of course who can forget the HOT
Spain basketballers. ONLY good thing from YOG
Hot young guys.Sigh...

No one else will ever do.
I got a stubborn heart for you.
Call me crazy, but its true; I love you.
I didn't think that it would be,
you have made it clear to me.
You're all I need.

Then a comfortable ride home
Oh my love
can't tell you how much these moments
mean to me.
reminds me how fortunate i am
amidst all the horror of math and
frustration of studying.
you know...

I just wanna hold you,
I just wanna kiss you,
I just wanna love you all my life.
I normally wouldn't say this,
but I just can't contain it.
I want you here forever,
right here by my side.

That's all i wanna do.

2010-07-28T10:46:00.003+08:00

Hey,
Just wanna say that i'm sorry
i keep throwing tantrums at you
pls pls pls learn to take it in your stride
cause i can say that
when i'm feeling a little stress
a little immature
a little childish
i'm sure to take it out on you

i know it's tough
but when i throw my tantrums
all i want you to do is to
coax me, humor me
hold me, tell me
i love you.

all i need is you.

Lately things have been a little crazy
flippin out and buggin on my baby
god only knows just what i would be
If i didn't have you hear loving me I
Wake up all hours of the night when u are away
crack a smile every time that you're on my brain
me without you baby just ain't right
So if i lose you how will i survive

I know sometimes you feel you're battling an army just to love me more
trust me baby imma do u better
Cause i can't lose the one thing that holds me together he's my core
Someone i can call on forever

Cause i know i was so blessed to find you
I'ma show and prove do my best to please you
Pull you together when you feel that you're about to fall apart
make up for the lovin that i never gave before
You're the only thing that makes sense in my life
If we fight i'm gonna make it all right
You should know that i'm in love with you ain't ever gonna leave
don't want no one else but you cause you're my everything

I know i say it often but baby i'ma change it
Ive sewn it up yeah i'm done you have been so patient
I'ma show u that u are my world
actions do speak louder than words
so here i go baby, ready to show you baby
you're all i want and need
you're all i know baby
did you know you hold the key to my future
can't live without you knowing what it's like to love you

I know sometimes you feel you're battling an army just to love me more trust me baby imma do u better
Cause i can't lose the one thing that holds me together he's my core
Someone i can call on forever

Cause i know i was so blessed to find you
I'ma show and prove do my best to please you
Pull you together when you feel that you're about to fall apart
make up for the lovin that i never gave before
You're the only thing that makes sense in my life
If we fight i'm gonna make it all right
You should know that i'm in love with you ain't ever gonna leave
don't want no one else but you cause you're my everything

I will do whatever it takes just to keep you in my life
I'll walk about a thousand miles just to be right by your side
so here i go baby, ready to show you baby
you're all i want and need
you're all i know baby
see i'm do things right this time for you i was gonna do right

Cause i know i was so blessed to find you
I'ma show and prove do my best to please you
Pull you together when you feel that you're about to fall apart
make up for the lovin that i never gave before
You're the only thing that makes sense in my life
If we fight i'm gonna make it all right
You should know that i'm in love with you ain't ever gonna leave
don't want no one else but you cause you're my everything

2010-07-21T08:04:00.004+08:00

It's that moment
the moment where you smiled
and picked up the guitar
and i heard it
though i couldn't see very clearly
when you said that your mind was
blank cos of me

You've got magic inside your finger tips
its leaking out all over my skin
every time that i get close to you
your making me weak with the way you
look through those eyes

It's that moment
as you read that note
the note that i wrote and smile
and kiss me on my cheek
as you see me grin
and hug me close
into your arms

And all i see is your face
all i need is your touch
wake me up with your lips
come at me from up above
oh i need you

It's that moment
when your carrying so many things
just for me, looking so silly
When you grin as i bump
into you as the train jerks
When you tell me that i
did that on purpose

I remember the way that you move
your dancin easily through my dreams
its hittin me harder and harder with all your smiles
you are crazy gentle in the way you kiss

It's that moment
when i hold your hand
and see your disappointment
and tell you it's okay

All i see is your face
all i need is your touch
wake me up with your lips
come at me from up above

It's that moment
when we walk in then walk out
when we head around aimlessly
when we share
a plate of pasta and soup
When we fight so hard for ice cream

Oh baby i need you
to see me, the way i see you
lovely, wide awake in
the middle of my dreams

It's that moment
when you shop with me
wait for me
smile at me
being busy

And all i see is your face
all i need is your touch
wake me up with your lips
come at me from up above

It's that moment
when you're too macho
to tell me you're sick
that you're tired
but say that you're sorry
you can't send me home

All i see is your face
all i need is your touch
wake me up with your lips
come at me from up above
yeaaaa, oh oh da da da do do do do do
ahhhhhh, i ..... i need you

It's that moment
that i know
all i need is you.

2010-07-15T11:20:00.003+08:00

This tells the story of a girl
and a boy
and the broken way
she loved him
and how he never gave up

Beauty queen of only eighteen
She had some trouble with herself
He was always there to help her
She always belonged to someone else

It really seems like a miracle
that She's managed to find him
and now that she has him
she never wants to let him go again

I drove for miles and miles
And wound up at your door
I’ve had you so many times
but somehow I want more

Everytime she holds his hand
everytime her palm contacts his skin
she can't help but feel so warm
so close, so secure

I don’t mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved

She knows
she knows that he'll be faithful
she knows that he'll be there
but yet she can't help but wonder
if that one day were to come
she tortures him she knows
but she can't help it
she can't control

*Tap on my window
knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful
I know I tend to get insecure
It doesn’t matter anymore

In the darkness of the night
she gets frightened
she's tried to tell him
but he doesn't always understand
he's the only one
that can make her cry like a child
like a child facing a monster
her monster

It’s not always rainbows and butterflies
It’s compromise that moves us along
My heart is full and my door’s always open
You can come anytime you want

She knows that she hurts him
she knows that he's fustrated and pained
she can feel it through his smile
though he says it's ok
Sometimes
she just wants to hug him
and make everything go away

#I don’t mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved

So she tries
she holds all the negative thoughts back
she hides them in a dark place in her heart
Sometimes she thinks
that maybe she's crazy
in a perverted abusive kind of way
and she hurts herself by hurting him

I know where you hide
Alone in your car
Know all of the things that
make you who you are
I know that goodbye means nothing at all
Comes back and begs me to catch her
every time she falls
*#

and so the story ends
unconcluded
for life is a mystery
and no ones knows
how it'll end
for now

i'll pray everyday, i promise

What lies behind us, and what lies before us
are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
~ by Ralph Waldo Emerson ~

2010-06-30T00:30:00.001+08:00

In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
-Martin Luther King, Jr. (1929-1968)

2010-06-28T16:08:00.003+08:00

It's now or never
Now, more than ever
I need Your strength oh Lord
I need You beside me
walking with me each step of the way
protect me from harm
help me overcome.

I am leaving this place now
letting go of all my fears
saying good-bye to the memory
I hold dear

I've never thought it would be this hard
It seems to be standing alone
Against the cold bitter wind
and as everything is threatened
you become at loss of what to do
what to think
what to say.

I can finally breath again
its a new day fair well past
as I close this chapter
I set free at last

It's come to a cross point
and i don't want to do anything else
than carry out Your plan on my life
so take over Lord
Dictate my life, help me

Chorus
I made up my mind
there's no turning back
the past is behind me
there's no looking back
I'm looking forward not behind-
I've made a decision
I give you my life

No one ever said it's gonna be easy
but i never knew it would be this hard
but even though everyone else says otherwise
i'll still have to go on

Every step I take is new
I found courage to go on
though its rough sometimes
I still have to be strong

Lord, send me Your grace and power
to continue every step of the way
i do enjoy it
and i'll never regret it
but i'm so tired, so so tired.

I may have to walk alone
but the One who live inside
me is always there to comfort and to guide
CHORUS

So as sunlight breaks
as each new day draws closer
i'll continue to pray
and may god fill me
each day
anew

I can see the sun breaking through the clouds
lifting my hands cause I'm all right now
I can shout about it
I can laugh about it
I can talk about it
CHORUS

This is my prayer for today
no matter how much i feel like crying
i'll hold back because there are
better use for these tears
I'll grit my teeth and show them

WHEN GOD IS FOR ME
WHO CAN BE AGAINST ME- romans 8: 31

2010-06-24T01:28:00.004+08:00

you're right.
you don't understand me.

but it's fine.
we have a life time to understand each other
what i really don't understand is
why of all times now?

why one night before my IS tech run
no wait, it's past 12
why on the day of my is tech run, i mean.
what is wrong with you
do you think that i'm not stressed enough
about my work and boards

and all the shit i'm given
why even you,
the person who is supposed
to support me the most is doing this to me.
what did i do so wrong that
you just had to say that.
of all times that i've asked and asked and asked.

you promised.
the hurt won't go away just
because i've said forget it
or because YH says pretend,
you've an exam tomorrow.
and what's worst
is this time, we didn't resolve it
something i really hate
but can't face this right now.

i can't take it.
you really don't know how much i
feel like throwing myself
out of the window right now.
if only my window wasn't so low.
i can do without this
thank you very much.

but why,
why do i still love you so much
and miss you
and wish you were here.

2010-06-16T21:11:00.004+08:00

Today i've experienced the confusion of love
no wonder people say when there's love
there's hate
i don't know
i really don't know
to let go or not
that's not the question
i'm confused
i'm retarded
i'm everything but happy ever after
i hate this feeling

That’s how much I love you
That’s how much I need you

And I can’t stand ya
'Most everything you do make me wanna smile
Can I not like it for a while?
(No...)

But you won’t let me
You upset me, girl, and then you kiss my lips
All of a sudden, I forget that I was upset
Can’t remember what you did?
(But I hate it)

You know exactly what to do
So that I can’t stay mad at you
For too long, that’s wrong
(But, I hate it)

You know exactly how to touch
So that I don’t wanna fuss and fight no more
Said, I despise that I adore you

And I hate how much I love you, boy
I can’t stand how much I need you
And I hate how much I love you, boy
But I just can’t let you go
And I hate that I love you so

And you completely know the power that you have
The only one that makes me laugh

Sad and it’s not fair how you take advantage of the fact that I
Love you beyond the reason why
And it just ain’t right

And I hate how much I love you, girl
I can’t stand how much I need you
And I hate how much I love you, girl
But I just can’t let you go
And I hate that I love you so

One of these days, maybe your magic won’t affect me
And your kiss won’t make me weak
But no one in this world knows me the way you know me
So you’ll probably always have a spell on me

That’s how much I love you
That's how much I need you
That’s how much I love you
That’s how much I need you

And I hate that I love you so

And I hate how much I love you, boy
I can’t stand how much I need you
And I hate how much I love you, girl
But I just can’t let you go
And I hate that I love you so

And I hate that I love you so
So...

2010-06-12T22:54:00.000+08:00

There's really nothing that i can say
or do or think or feel
that is not given by you
All that i want or need is you
There's no words i can say
that can express how i feel

i truly miss you
like the way
a flower misses water
the sky misses the sun
till my it's painful to think about you
till my heart cries

i'm sorry...

Over and over I look in your eyes
you are all I desire
you have captured me
I want to hold you
I want to be close to you
I never want to let go
I wish that this night would never end
I need to know

Could I hold you for for a lifetime
Could I look into your eyes
Could I have this night to share this night together
Could I hold you close beside me
Could I hold you for all time
Could I could I have this kiss forever
Could I could I have this kiss forever, forever

Over and over I've dreamed of this night
Now you're here by my side
You are next to me
I want to hold you and touch you taste you
And make you want no one but me
I wish that this kiss could never end
oh baby please

Could I hold you for a lifetime
Could I look into your eyes
Could I have this night to share this night together
Could I hold you close beside me
Could I hold you for all time
Could I could I have this kiss forever
Could I could I have this kiss forever, forever

I don't want any night to go by
Without you by my side
I just want all my days
Spent being next to you
Lived for just loving you
And baby, oh by the way

Could I hold you for a lifetime
Could I look into your eyes
Could I have this night to share this night together
Could I hold you close beside me
Could I hold you for all time
Could I have this kiss forever
Could I could I have this kiss forever, forever

2010-06-07T01:52:00.002+08:00

i'm sorry
i really am
it's so ironic that i was just laughing with you
just barely 2hours ago
I sincerely apologise,
I don't know how many ways
i can say this again and again
before you get pissed and say
forget it or whatever

I know that it's mean of me
to play mind games with you
and from what i've read
guys don't like girls who do
and even though now you say it's ok
i can still feel your disgust and are apalled.

I'm just so scared at times
and I don't want to appear to be too needy
because you said that we're going too fast
i know you said that you didn't mean it
but it has to have certain truth for you
to say it right?
so when i heard your silence
my heart stopped.

I thought you might just sigh and laugh it off
but your brain totally went
shit, no way, mean girls
i can feel it even if you say otherwise
i'm sorry
i'm sorry
i'm sorry

I really didn't mean to
but it's like an addiction
i just can't pull myself away
whenever i'm afraid but
don't want to let you know
then i'll say something
just to make you say that you love me
or to make you worked up
it's wrong
but it's how i assure myself that you won't leave

I'm not sure you know how truly scared i am
just missing you hurts like crazy
thinking about you leaving kills me
i know it's not your fault
you did try try so hard to comfort me
but there's just that little part
that tightens whenever i get reminded
that there's a possibility

and when you get angry
i don't know if you've noticed
but i get so scared that i can't speak
all i can do
is helplessly look at you
and grab on to you as tight as possible
to make sure that you won't run away
but if one day you were to really
break away
i won't be able to chase you
i'd be stuck where i am
and i'd just cry and cry and cry

i'm sorry i'm so paranoid
it's like i'm psychotic
i don't know why i just can't calm
this stupid heart down
that's why i give you everything
that why i want you to be happy
because even though i know
it's not good to make you happy that way
i'm just too afraid that you'll
leave me if you're not

please don't ever leave me with the reason
that i'm too paranoid
if you think so tell me when i'm acting
that way and i'll change
i promise.
i'd rather you be here
than be paranoid

i'm sorry
i'm sorry
i'm sorry
you probably won't trust what i say again
but still
i really do love you
very much.

If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call?
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all?

I never know what the future brings
But I know you're here with me now
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don't know life so far away
But I know that its just a trip
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I'm praying you're the one I'Ve build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

'Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right
And though I can't be with you tonight
You know my heart is by your side

I don’t wanna run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

2010-06-06T19:38:00.003+08:00

this is dedicated to you
after all we've been through in the last
1 and a half months
it's not been easy
but i think that you
make me feel happier each day
that i have you

All I am, all I'll be
Everything in this world
All that I'll ever need
Is in your eyes
Shining at me
When you smile I can feel
All my passion unfolding
Your hand brushes mine
And a thousand sensations
Seduce me 'cause I

You're the only one that can make me
do and feel so much
it's been overwhelming
and the practical side of me
is screaming to stop now
but my heart mind and soul
just can't forget the way you smile

Chorus
I do cherish you
For the rest of my life
You don't have to think twice
I will love you still
From the depths of my soul
It's beyond my control
I've waited so long to say this to you
If you're asking do I love you this much
I do

Sometimes i wonder
if my friends are right
that i don't treasure you enough
even though you promise me
but who can promise me forever
so each second i'm with you
i want you to know how much i love you
how much i'm willing to give
and how much i want you

In my world, before you
I lived outside my emotions
Didn't know where I was going
'Till that day I found you
How you opened my life
To a new paradise
In a world torn by change
Still with all my heart
'Till my dying day

Chorus

so my love,
i heart you.
cheesy as it might seem
i do, cherish you

2010-05-27T09:45:00.002+08:00

Finally...
Mid-years are over
I can't believe how far i've come
there are that many times
when i really want to give up
to throw in the towel
then I pray and all i hear is

I know the odds are stacked against you
And it seems there's no way out
I know the issue seems unchangeable
And that there's no reason to shout
But the impossible is God's chance
To work a miracle, a miracle
So just know

Each prayer give me hope
so i continue
and run and run and run
till i'm breathless and weak
Then i feel two arms hold me tight
they carry me on
and i know these are the arms of God.
And i know

Chorus
It ain't over until God says it's over
It ain't over until God says it's done
It ain't over until God says it's over
Keep fighting until your victory is won

So in a blink of an eye
June is coming soon
there's still a long way to go
i know
but i take comfort that
i've come such a long way

He never said it would be easy
But you're a winner in the end
Jesus defeated all your enemies
Way before the fight began
But the impossible is God's chance
To work a miracle, a miracle
So just know

*Chorus

So for now
I'll keep fighting, keep going on
till the day when God says
that you're done with this section of the plan
i know each and every thing
happens for a reason
and all i have to do is trust in Him

When people say you can't, remember
(He can, He can)
When you don't know what to do,
Please remember
(He has the master plan)
He will free you from your sin
And give you peace within
So hold your head up high
You're gonna win
(You're gonna win)

*Chorus

This coming fight ain't gonna be easy
and i know i'll break down
i know i'll cry
But i also know that i'll fight
I'll keep at it
until the road is clear again

Keep fighting, keep praying,
keep fasting It ain't over, no
Keep pressing, progressing,
keep moving It ain't over, no
Keep reading, interceding,
keep believing It ain't over, no
Keep trusting, keep trying,
keep travailing It ain't over, no
Keep living, keep giving,
keep going It ain't over, no (8x)
Keep fighting until your victory is won

So JY! JY!
to all my fellow DEP mates
and to the one who i love so much
it won't be easy
but we'll be there for each other and
with God,
miracles happen.

2010-05-26T05:44:00.003+08:00


I was really angry
really mad, fuming
then i hung up on you
and the pain set in.
It hurt like never before.
Pain mixed with regret
mixed with the ache of my heart.
This stupid freaking heart
who loves you so much.

You're everything I thought you never were
And nothing like I thought you could have been
But still you live inside of me
So tell me how is that

Then we made up
and i hugged you so tight
so close.
To make all the pain go away
but it doesn't
and it still lingers
help me...
It hurts so much
and i can't let go.

You're the only one I wish I could forget
The only one I love to not forgive
And thought you break my heart
You're the only one

If not for anything
it's just cos it's you
it's you who was the one that
made the hurt
so only you can make me go away
nows not a good time
i said
cos even if we made up
I've no time to see you
for you to be my band aid.

And though there are times when I hate you
Cause I can't erase the times that you hurt me
And put tears on my face
And even now while I hate you its pains me to say
I know I'll be there at the end of the day

I know that i should forget
and it's not out of spite
but that's easy for you to say
you know that i've always been paranoid
so now this fear won't go away
that you might one day say
forget it
i'm done with this relationship.
i'm scared, so scared.

*I don't wanna be without you babe
I don't want a broken heart
Don't wanna take a breath without you babe
I don't want to play that part
I know that I love you but let me just say
I don't wanna love you in no kinda way, no no
I don't want a broken heart
And I don't want to play the broken-hearted girl no no
No broken-hearted girl
I'm no broken-hearted girl

I know you love me
really i do
but when you say stuff like this
it really pains my heart
the paranoid me
just can't help but worry
You have so much in front of you
a whole future
me, all i have
is you.

There's something that I feel I need to say
But up 'til now I've always been afraid
That you would never come around
And still I wanna put this out
You say you got the most respect for me
But sometimes I feel you're not deserving of me
And still you're in my heart
But you're the only one

So you don't need to be sorry
like i've explained
it's me not you
that's making this hurt stay
it's just
be there for me when i ask
if you'll break up with me one day
and tolerate with me as much
as till the end of time
that's all i ask.

And yes there are times when I hate you
But I don't complain
Cause I've been afraid that you would walk away
Oh but now I don't hate you I'm happy to say
That I will be there at the end of the day

You're not wrong really
just saying the right thing
at the wrong time
it was when i was stressed
and studying
and you saying
to not want to spend so much time with me
made me feel that i've made
you fed up with all my requests
and now you don't want me anymore.
so it's not you, it's me.

I don't wanna be without you babe
I don't want a broken heart
Don't wanna take a breath without you baby
I don't want to play that part
I know that I love you but let me just say
I don't wanna love you in no kinda way, no no
I don't want a broken heart
I don't want to play the broken-hearted girl
No, no, no broken-hearted girl

Don't be sorry
cos i'm not sorry that it happened
It taught me a little bit more
about you, about me
It made us closer, in a way
and it not the time we spend
which makes us closer
It the quality of it.

Now I'm at a place I thought I'd never be, ooh
I'm living in a world that's all about you and me, mmm yeah
Ain't gotta be afraid, my broken heart is free
To spread my wings and fly away, away with you,
Yeah yeah yeah, oh ohh...

*

A person's heart is like glass
you can break it once or twice
or a few times
and it can still mend
but hurt it too many time
and the pieces won't come back
together again.
So don't break my heart again okay?
I love you no matter...

2010-05-20T13:21:00.003+08:00

The pieces of my heart are mended
but i hope that you'll know
no matter what happens
i'll always need you and be there for you.

I miss you...

I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too

When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through
The day and make it ok
I miss you

I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
And when you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too

And when you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through
The day and make it ok
I miss you

We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were, yeah

And all I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me, yeah

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
And when you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too

And when you're gone
All the words I need to hear will always get me through
The day and make it ok
I miss you

2010-05-12T09:43:00.004+08:00

I'm sorry
I can't always be there for you
not like the way you're there for me
but i really really do want to.
so hang on a bit more
we'll cross one more hurdle
in this journey together.
as you put it...
Jy! JY!

Well I'll always be there for you
When you need someone well I'll be that one
Well I'll do all my best to protect you
When the tears get me all right
Well I'll be the one that's by your side

Chorus:
Well I'll be there
when you call me in the middle of the night
I will keep the rain from falling down into your eyes
(I promise) I promise
(I promise)
I promise I will

When you're sick I'll take care of you
Take your darkest night and make it bright for you
Well I'll be there to make you strong
And to lean on
When this world has turned so cold
Well I'll be the one that's there to hold

Chorus:
Well I'll be there
when you call me in the middle of the night
I will keep the rain from falling down into your eyes
(I promise) I promise
(I promise)
I promise I will

Well I'll be there
when you call me in the middle of the night
I will keep the rain from falling down into your eyes
(I promise) I promise
(I promise)
I promise I will

And I'll love you more everyday
And nothing will take that love away
When you need someone
I promise I'll be there for you
There for you

Chorus:
Well I'll be there
when you call me in the middle of the night
I will keep the rain from falling down into your eyes
(I promise) I promise
(I promise)
I promise I will

I promise
I promise
When you call me
I promise
I promise I will

2010-05-11T00:26:00.002+08:00

Letter to my love

Dear My Love,

Happy one month! I just wanna say thank you.
Thank you for your patience and love
and for everything you have been so willing
to sacrifice or to give to me.
each time i look into your eyes
I know you love me.

I'm sorry I always joke about stuff
that irritates you.
Hoping that you won't be angry
doesn't cut it
and it's mean of me i know
But i really can't help but want to
affirm your love for me
even though there's no need to.
I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that I have so many insecurities
and that i'm so paranoid
just want you to know
that if you ever ever reach breaking point
just tell me
and i'll change i promise.
for you. i'm willing

I' so afraid of making you upset
I just hope that you are happy with me.
You take away all my fear and stress
being with you makes me feel
secure and loved. oh so loved.
That's why,
the only one i need is you

That's why,
I thank God I found you...

2010-05-11T00:23:00.001+08:00

I would give up everything
Before I'd separate myself from you
After so much suffering
I've finally found a man that's true
I was all by myself for the longest time
So cold inside
And the hurt from the heart it would not subside
I felt like dying
Until you saved my life

(Chorus - all)

Thank God I found you
I was lost without you
My every wish and every dream
Somehow became reality
When you brought the sunlight
Completed my whole life
I'm overwhelmed with gratitude
Cause baby I'm so thankful
I found you

(Joe)
I would give you everything
There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do
To ensure your happiness
I'll cherish every part of you
`cause without you beside me I can't survive
I don't wanna try
If you're keeping me warm each and every night
I'll be all right
Cause I need you in my life

(Chorus - all)

Thank God I found you (I'm begging you)
I was lost without you (so lost without you)
My every wish and every dream (every dream, every dream)
Somehow became reality
When you brought the sunlight (brought the sunlight)
Completed my whole life
I'm overwhelmed with gratitude
Cause baby I'm so thankful
I found you

-Bridge- (Mariah & Joe)

See I was so desolate
Before you came to me
Looking back I guess it shows
that we were destined to shine
After the rain to appreciate
And care for what we have
And I'd go through it all over again
To be able to feel this way

(Chorus - all)

Thank God I found you
I was lost without you (lost without you baby)
My every wish and every dream
Somehow became reality
When you brought the sunlight
Completed my whole life (whole life)
I'm overwhelmed with gratitude
Sweet baby I'm so thankful
I found you

(Chorus - all)
Thank God I found you
I was lost without you
I'm overwhelmed with gratitude
My baby I'm so thankful
I found you

(Mariah)

I'm overwhelmed with gratitude
My baby I'm so thankful I found you

2010-05-09T21:50:00.004+08:00

Today was one of those days that makes me breathless
You just sitting there, quietly, looking at me
It's like I can take my time
and you won't mind.
It make me feel so so so loved.

What if I told you it was all meant to be?
Would you believe me, would you agree?
Its almost that feeling
that we've met before
so tell me that you dont think Im crazy
when I tell you love has come here and now.

Today's bus ride seems more special than ever
It's probably the only time that I'm not falling asleep
I really feel bad for sleeping on your shoulder all the time
Cause I really do want to talk to you
to cherish every sec together.

A Moment like this.
Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this.
Some people search forever for that one special kiss.
I cant believe its happening to me.
Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this.

Leaning on you...
though it makes your leg numb
makes me very very happy
i feel so secure, where I am
although I always say that you're short
but i don't really mean it
cos it doesn't matter how tall you are
it's the sense of security that only you can give
that makes me feel so warm

Everything changes, but beauty remains.
Something so tender I cant explain.
Well I may be dreaming but till I awake.
Can we make this dream last forever?
And I'll cherish all the love we share

Having your arm around me
lets me feel like you can catch me
no matter how hard I fall
The tickle of your hair on my cheek
lets me know that you find comfort in me too
that i'm not the only one needing you.
That i'm not sucking you dry
that we can last forever...

A moment like this.
Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this.
Some people search forever for that one special kiss.
I cant believe its happening to me.
Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this.

Each kiss you stole today makes me feel
like time can change anything
but our love will still hold strong
as long as i keep praying
we'll hold fast forever
and my heart won't break

Could this be the greatest love of all.
I wanna know that you will catch me when I fall.
So let me tell you this.
Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this

Not sure if you know
how much your sms meant to me
to affirm your love to me
Cos even though I ask you to say it often
the sms really gave me confirmation
I know you love me always
but like you said i'm paranoid
and yea wat you say is true
it means more when you say it
not cos I ask you to. but sometimes...
I just....you know...

Some people search a lifetime for a moment like this.
Some people search forever for that one special kiss.
I cant believe its happening to me.
Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this.

The sun will still shine when tomorrow comes
The stars will still shine when tonight comes
Our love will still hold when forever comes.
This i know.

2010-05-08T06:55:00.003+08:00

No song can describe the way I feel
The way you make me feel
This is our song
It belongs to us and only us.
If you're an awkward little boy
then, i'm a shy girl
who can't help but blush
and bite my lip
with you
I don't always know if
what i'm doing is right
but you give me courage to do it anyway.
with you
I feel safe
and secure
and loved
I like being
with you.

2010-05-06T05:53:00.003+08:00

No matter what...
no matter what...
i just wanna say that we are fine
the way we are...
YOU are fine the way you are.

You touch these tired eyes of mine
And map my face out line by line
And somehow growing old feels fine
I listen close for I'm not smart
You wrap your thoughts in works of art
And they're hanging on the walls of my heart

You make me feel special
there's no need to feel embarrassed
cos you make me shy
I think it's natural
for BOTH of us to feel this way

I may not have the softest touch
I may not say the words as such
And though I may not look like much
I'm yours
And though my edges may be rough
And never feel I'm quite enough
It may not seem like very much
But I'm yours

Not sure if you know
don't think you truly understand
what I really mean when I say
my breath catches.
It's not cos i'm not breathing properly
it cos you make me feel...
feel something...

You healed these scars over time
Embraced my soul
You loved my mind
You're the only angel in my life
The day news came my best friend died
My knees went weak and you saw me cry
Say I'm still the soldier in your eyes

This is so hard to say...
Even though I may act differently
I'm still a girl at heart
so I'm kinda shy in telling you
this kind of stuff.

I may not have the softest touch
I may not say the words as such
And though I may not look like much
I'm yours
And though my edges may be rough
And never feel I'm quite enough
It may not seem like very much
But I'm yours

But at the least
i'm not afraid to say
That i'll accept you for who you are
no matter what you do or say.
I'll hug you real tight till all the
troubles go away...

I may not have the softest touch
I may not say the words as such
I know I don't fit in that much
But I'm yours

hear that?
I'm yours....

2010-05-03T21:22:00.002+08:00

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.

T'was Grace that taught my heart to fear.
And Grace, my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear
The hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come;
'Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far
and Grace will lead me home.

The Lord has promised good to me.
His word my hope secures.
He will my shield and portion be,
As long as life endures.

Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease,
I shall possess within the veil,
A life of joy and peace.

When we've been here ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun.
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Than when we've first begun.

2010-04-30T02:08:00.001+08:00

Into your hands, O Lord
we humble entrust my grandmother.
In this life you embraced her with your tender love;
deliver her now from every evil
and bid her enter eternal rest.

The old order has passed away:
welcome her then into paradise,
where there will be no sorrow, no weeping nor pain,
but the fullness of peace and joy
with your Son and the Holy Spirit
for ever and ever.

Amen.

When I'm alone I dream of the horizon and words fail me.
There is no light in a room where there is no sun
and there is no sun if you're not here with me, with me.
From every window unfurls my heart the heart that you have won.
Into me you've poured the light,
the light that you found by the side of the road.

Time to say goodbye.
Places that I've never seen or experienced with you.
Now I shall, I'll sail with you upon ships across the seas,
seas that exist no more,
it's time to say goodbye.

Andrea Bocelli
When you're far away I dream of the horizon and words fail me.
And of course I know that you're with me, with me.
You, my moon, you are with me.
My sun, you're here with me with me, with me, with me.

Time to say goodbye.
Places that I've never seen or experienced with you.
Now I shall, I'll sail with you upon ships across the seas,
seas that exist no more,

Both
I'll revive them with you.
I'll go with you upon ships across the seas,
seas that exist no more,
I'll revive them with you.
I'll go with you.

You and me.

2010-04-30T01:47:00.004+08:00

Goodbye is being happy that she's gone to a better place yet sad because you'll miss her presence -Rachel

I never realized it would happen so fast
or that it would be so near
So when Mom told me
I was in shock
for a very long time.
I couldn't believe it
and it only settled in when I was in the cab.
(which obviously caused me to cry
and caused the cab driver to think that
i'm crazy)

So far away from where you are
These miles have torn us world's apart
And I miss you
Yeah, I miss you

11hours 43mins and 54secs
that was the time you officially left us
and it hurts that I never did get to see you
right before you left.
But it's no matter
I know that you thought of me
and knew that I thought of you too.

So far away from where you are
I'm standing underneath the stars
And I wish you were here

I don't regret anything
and everything you have left behind
are not sad memories
I'll always keep a part of you with me
that's all I can say
because it's not goodbye for us.
You know that.
It's see you later.

I miss the years that were erased
I miss the way the sunshine would light up your face
I miss all the little things
I never thought that they'd mean everything to me

I know that you'll be up there waiting for me
That you'll be sitting there
beside God's throne
becoming another angel who looks after me
Like you always did when you were alive
There's so much I wanted to show you
but I guess you know it all now
I'm glad, really.
because now at least I know you're happy
that you're relieved from the pain
But still

I feel the beating of your heart
I see the shadows of your face
Just know that wherever you are
Yeah, I miss you
And I wish you were here

i'll miss you
miss your loving hands
and your humor
and how you always laughed at me
for saying the right things or wrong things
and making feel like nothing could ever
go wrong with you around

I miss the years that were erased
I miss the way the sunshine would light up your face
I miss all the little things
I never thought that they'd mean everything to me

I'll miss the way you used to
make me eat so much
the way you asked me if I wanted a drink
the way you asked me to study hard
and be a good girl

Yeah I miss you
And I wish you were here

I'll miss the way you hold my hand
and patted my thigh
the way you kiss my hands
the way you tried to stuff me some money
the way you took pictures
with that slant in you head

More importantly,
I'll miss you.

That's why even though I know
that you're happy
I cry, cry so hard
cause the missing you is what hurts
hurts so bad.

So far away from where you are
These miles have torn us world's apart
And I miss you
Yeah, I miss you
And I wish you were here

Rest well, Grandma
see you soon.

2010-04-29T00:29:00.004+08:00

I'm sorry for today...
I just really miss you today
so much so that I can't control myself
maybe you're right
you do have better self control

The stars lean down to kiss you
And I lie awake and miss you
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere

It just makes me really sad
that I need you so much
cos i don't want to be a burden to you
I don't want to be one of those sticky
girlfriends who go miss you every 5secs...
but i think that's what i've been doing unconsciously.

'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly
But I'll miss your arms around me
I'd send a postcard to you, dear
'Cause I wish you were here

I don't really think that you miss me less
I just feel that i'm missing you
too much for it to be real
I miss you so much it hurts
that's why i said the things i said

I'll watch the night turn light-blue
But it's not the same without you
Because it takes two to whisper quietly

But that's all over now
and i'll gladly put the past behind me
I just can't help but wonder what if
one day you'll get really angry
i'm really really scared.

The silence isn't so bad
'Til I look at my hands and feel sad
'Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly

You may say i'm paranoid but
what if...
just what if...
One day you say
i've had enough with you and your
RUBBISH!!!!

I'll find repose in new ways
Though I haven't slept in two days
'Cause cold nostalgia
Chills me to the bone

Then what's gonna happen to me
I'll just die of a broken heart
but no,I stop myself in time
and think happy thoughts.
yet the fear still lingers...

But drenched in vanilla twilight
I'll sit on the front porch all night
Waist-deep in thought because
When I think of you I don't feel so alone

I don't feel so alone, I don't feel so alone

When your angry letter came
I cried
I really cried
not cos I was sad
but cos it hurt for me to say
that I miss you.

As many times as I blink
I'll think of you tonight
I'll think of you tonight

each time i say
I want you here
i'm not kidding
so your reply
give me cab money lar
makes me cringe and laugh
at the same time

When violet eyes get brighter
And heavy wings grow lighter
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again

I won't forget your smile
won't forget your face
won't forget your smell
won't forget your kiss
won't forget you.

And I'll forget the world that I knew
But I swear I won't forget you
Oh, if my voice could reach
Back through the past
I'd whisper in your ear
Oh darling, I wish you were here

2010-04-27T11:41:00.004+08:00

You know exactly what i mean
Please smile for me.
Whenever you think of me
i'm thinking of you too
I play this song repeatedly
over and over in you ipod
not cause I love it
but cause this songs reminds me of you.
I listen to it before I sleep,
hoping that i'll dream of you
and every sec we're together
I try to make the best of it
Each time our fingers touch
my breath catches
though sometimes less than others.
but each time our lips brush
my breath gets stuck in my throat.
hope you understand
how much you mean to me.
7 months 7 years
that's all we need to spend
forever together.
So you better stay right where you are.

Before I fall too fast
Kiss me quick, but make it last
So I can see how badly this will hurt me
When you say goodbye

Keep it sweet, keep it slow
Let the future pass, and don't let go
But tonight I could fall too soon
Into this beautiful moonlight

But you're so hypnotizing
You've got me laughing while I sing, you've got me smiling in my sleep
And I can see this unraveling
Your love is where I'm falling, but please don't catch me

See this heart won't settle down
Like a child running scared from a clown
I'm terrified of what you do
My stomach screams just when I look at you

Run far away so I can breathe
Even though you're far from suffocating me
I can't set my hopes too high
'Cause every hello ends with a goodbye

But you're so hypnotizing
You've got me laughing while I sing, you've got me smiling in my sleep
And I can see this unraveling
Your love is where I'm falling, but please don't catch me

So now you see why I'm scared
I can't open up my heart without a care
But here I go, it's what I feel
And for the first time in my life I know it's for real

But you're so hypnotizing
You've got me laughing while I sing, you've got me smiling in my sleep
And I can see this unraveling
Your love is where I'm falling so please don't catch me

If this is love, please don't break me
I'm giving up so just catch me

2010-04-26T16:48:00.003+08:00

It's tough i know
it's tough for me too
to keep away for so long
to keep waiting for me
to see each other
crumble
pick him/herself up and try again
but i just you to know
that when you're near

I can feel the magic floating in the air
Beign with you gets me that way
I watch the sunlight dance across your face
And i've never been this swept away
All my thoughts just seem to settle on the breeze
When i'm lying wrapped up in your arms
The whole world just fades away
The only thing I hear
Is the beating of your heart

I would like to make you banana pancakes
watch you smile in the sun
go to esplanade and watch you
restless from the heat.
But we can't.
Nor you nor I.
Time's just not enough.

CHORUS:
Cause I can feel you breathe
It's washing over me
And suddenly i'm melting into you
There's nothing left to prove
Baby, all we need is just to be
Caught up in the touch
Slow and steady rush
Baby, isn't that the way that love's suppose to be
I can feel you breathe

I like to hug you
cause it's there that i hear you breathe
in your embrace
it's where i feel all my burdens fly away
you are my support
so if you're down I'll go with you
and we'll pick ourselves up together

In a way I know my heart is waking up
As all the walls come tumbling down
Closer than i've ever felt before
And I know, and you know
There's no need for words right now

Keep holding on
I miss you so much too
but i have to block it
or i'll never get anything done
when i'm angry or i'm sad
It'll be worse
but please don't, please don't
get angry at me.

CHORUS

I can feel the magic floating in the air
Being with you gets me that way...

I know you know.
I know what you know too.
I know what you can't say either.
There's no need.
Just breathe and somewhere,
no matter where i am,
i'll breathe in the air you breathed out.
and we'll breathe as one.
So remember,
every breath you breathe
has my kiss in it.
hmm.hmm.

2010-04-26T16:29:00.003+08:00

i've never been so tired before
so sick and tired
but hang in there
I say to myself
2 more months.
just 2 more months

Over all the Earth
You reign on high
Every mountain stream
every sunset sky
But my one request
Lord my only aim
Is that you reign in me again

I need all the help that I can get
I need more strength from God
more than I would ever imagine
I surrender all.

Lord reign in me
Reign in your power
Over all my dreams
In my darkest hour
You are the Lord of all I am
So won't you reign in me again

I don't ask for much
Just for God to stand beside me
for God to lead me
I know that I haven't been
living life with him.
I'm sorry.
and now i'm heading back
to where He has always been

Over every thought
Over every word
May my life reflect
the beauty of my Lord
'Cause you mean more to me
than any Earthly thing
So won't you reign in me again

Help me
Help him
Cause everytime i'm busy he suffers
I'm sorry. I'm thankful. and
I love you.

My prayer for the day:

Lord,
please hold my hand each and every step
on this tiring and difficult path
May YOU fill me each and everyday
with your love and power and grace
to walk every bit of this journey
May you cover me with your blood
and keep me safe always
keep me in your arms and your embrace
Lord please don't let me out of your sight
Keep me in your circle of protection.
and for him Lord,
please bless his heart
his loving and caring heart
that makes me so happy each time i'm sad.
Send him an angel to help him
in times of need
just like you have sent him to me.

Amen.

2010-04-23T09:18:00.004+08:00

What more is there to say
this is my prayer for the rest of my days...

Precious Lord take my hand,
Lead me on let me stand.
I am tired I am weak, I am worn.
Through the storm, through the night,
Lead me on to the light.
Take my hand precious Lord,
Lead me home.

MUST

When my way grows drear,
Precious Lord linger near.
When my life is almost gone,
Hear my cry, hear my call,
Hold my hand lest I fall.
Take my hand precious Lord,
Lead me home.

When the darkness appears,
And the night draws near,
And the day is past and gone.
At the river I stand,
Guide my feet hold my hand,
Take my hand precious Lord,
Lead me home.

2010-04-21T17:07:00.003+08:00

The clock stroke 5pm
and we were finally able
to be alone together.
not doing homework
not rushing somewhere
not moving things around
finally

Today was a fairytale
You were the prince
I used to be a damsel in distress
You took me by the hand and you picked me up at six
Today was a fairytale
Today was a fairytale

Not sure you know how glad i am
to be able to hug you tight
the relief you bring me
washes me over
my knees crumble
when i'm in your arms

Today was a fairytale
I wore a dress
You wore a dark grey t-shirt
You told me I was pretty when I looked like a mess
Today was a fairytale
Time slows down whenever you're around

I know today hasn't been easy
but it's the worst day either
the in between is driving me crazy
and it doesn't help that you
yourself are up the wall.

But can you feel this magic in the air?
It must have been the way you kissed me
Fell in love when I saw you standing there
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale

Yet, I think it was all worth it
that no matter how much i endure
you are there to be my prize
to be the award at the end of the day
thank you thank you thank you

Today was a fairytale
You've got a smile that takes me to another planet
Every move you make everything you say is right
Today was a fairytale
Today was a fairytale
All that I can say is it's getting so much clearer
Nothing made sense until the time I saw your face
Today was a fairytale

With you I feel loved
that i'm in the right place
and i've been making all the right choices
cos it's all these choices that led me right to you
every part of me leans i to you

Time slows down whenever you're around
Yeah yeah

It hurts that you're so tired
cos I feel like i shouldn't lean on you
but your wide embrace
just makes me wanna kiss your smile
i grin in the dark and i seem to imagine your face
i can you know
that's how well i've memorized it.

But can you feel this magic in the air?
It must have been the way you kissed me
Fell in love when I saw you standing there
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale

Everything didn't turn out the way i expected it to be
It turned out worse
ans I was stressing oh so bad
but with you around
you made it so much better
now i think my day was quite good after all

Time slows down whenever you're around
I can feel my heart
It's beating in my chest
Did you feel it?
I can't put this down

I treasure every second spent with you
because those seconds are so hard to find
and I thank you for being so patient with me
But it's not going to get easier
and your love has made me greedier than before
so i'll warn you know
to please endure with me till july
then i swear i'll be more stable
please don't give up on me

But can you feel this magic in the air?
It must have been the way you kissed me
Fell in love when I saw you standing there
It must have been the way
But can you feel this magic in the air?
It must have been the way you kissed me
Fell in love when I saw you standing there
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale

Today i feel like cinderella

2010-04-20T23:27:00.002+08:00

Loss

Hello, let me know if you hear me
Hello, if you want to be near
Let me know
And I'll never let you go

I'm pretty sure I'm at a loss for words.

Something that seems rather surreal to me at this point in time.

Then again, pretty words mean little as compared to actions.

Which equates to me being the equivalent of inaction in a tangible essence.

Hey love
When you ask what I feel, I say love
When you ask how I know
I say trust
And if that's not enough

And besides, everything I've said, and could've said, has been said, and everything that has been said has been said at least a few hundred times.

It's every little thing you do
That makes me fall in love with you
There isn't a way that I can show you
Ever since I've come to know you
It's every little thing you say
That makes me wanna feel this
There's not a thing that I can point to
'Cause it's every little thing you do

I'm afraid that what's been said will have lost some meaning, being diluted by repetition, and hence causes myself to seem slightly more insincere each time.

Don't ask why
Let's just feel what we feel
'Cause sometimes
It's the secret that keeps it alive
But if you need a reason why

I'm just as paranoid, in a sense, although in a different way.

I'm afraid I'll start to take for granted, this feeling.

I'm afraid I'll let it all get to my head.

[Chorus]
Is it your smile or your laugh or your heart?
Does it really matter why I love you?
Anywhere there's a crowd, you stand out
Can't you see why they can't ignore you
If you wanna know
Why I can't let go
Let me explain to you
That every little dream comes true
With every little thing you do

I'm afraid I'll let you down.

I'm afraid I'll never understand completely.

It's everything, everything you do
That makes me fall in love with you
It's everything, everything you say
That makes me feel this way

But then for now,

I am unafraid.

Love us. Love you.

Forever.

Promise.

Me too.
Although this is a very big promise to make
but if you are willing
i will follow.
I will support you till the end of time.
As long as you love
i'll give you my heart.
Me too.
I Love us. I Love you.
- with a capital L

2010-04-19T15:18:00.002+08:00

Today I feel like I've reaffirmed my faith again
That all I need to do is pray
and claim upon my promises
Today hasn't been the best of the best
but prayer has made it better
It's a miracle really
That i can still be well when everyone else is falling ill

You laid aside Your majesty, gave up everything for me.
Suffered at the hands of those You had created.
You took away my guilt and shame,
When You died and rose again.
Now today You reign,
And heaven and earth exalt You.

Sometimes i really feel like giving up
but when i do all i have to think of is You.
of how you gave your life to set us free
and all I need to do is believe
so nothing can stumble me on my way
because nothing I face is equal to what You did.
Your pain will always be so much
much more greater than mine

I really want to worship You my Lord,
You have won my heart and I am Yours.
Forever and ever, I will love You.
You are the only one who died for me,
Gave Your life to set me free.
So I lift my voice to You in adoration.

So I've made a list of things to thank God for
every morning so that I will remember
all the blessings You've given me.

1. Thank God for each new day
2. Thank God for all my family
3. thank God for all my friends
4. Thank God for simple pleasure in life
5. Thank God for smiles and joys
6. Thank God for hand phones and smses
7. Thank God for people who care
8. Thank God for being me.

Cast all your cares on Him because He cares for you- 1Peter 5:7

2010-04-19T03:23:00.004+08:00

Dear God,
I pray that life will always carry on this way
for me to be able to be happy each day
for You to walk with me every step of the way
to hold my hand and let me know what's right

Smile, though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
You'll get by...

All the hurts and pains
all the falling down
can't keep me down forever
cos i know there's You
God you pick me up trough it all
and I just wanna say thank you

If you smile
With your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll find that life is still worthwhile if you'll just...

I know that sometimes
I don't pray enough
or that I don't read Your word enough
and i'm sorry
But every time I forget
send an angel down to whisper in my ear

Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you'll just...

Lord, bring me back when i stray
Help me overcome every temptation
Help me tell from black and white
Help me continue to fly
even though my arm are aching
Help me spread your love along the way

Smile, though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
You'll get by...

Lord, the journey down the road
is going to be rocky and tough
I know i'll stumble for sure
so help me be strong in my faith
and as I quit serving You
help keep the children safe
as You have kept this child safe

If you smile
Through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you'll just Smile...

God, cover me with your protection
help me study with Your perfection
and help me not loose sight
of the bigger plan You have for me
Never let me forget that You
are my Savior and Shelter

That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you'll just Smile

One last thing I have to thank You for
Lord thank you for KY.

2010-04-15T12:06:00.003+08:00

This is dedicated to you
my one and only
I want to keep us forever a secret
so that it is something
only between you and me
You always say that you're hopeless
and i know i always say you CMI
but in actual fact...

You're better then the best
I'm lucky just to linger in your light
Cooler then the flip side of my pillow, that's right
Completely unaware
Nothing can compare to where you send me,
Lets me know that it's ok, yeah it's ok
And the moments where my good times start to fade

You always ask me why i smile
Truly, there's no real reason
I just like the feeling of being near you
I try to resist, to be independent
to not be so sticky to you
i mean i've never needed anyone forever
but i can't help call you every night

You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed, sing like bird
Dizzy in my head, spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh, you make me smile

I never realize how much i miss you
till i talk to you or see you again
oh and how it takes my breath away
I like to take the initiation
not because you don't
but cos i don't have pretty words for you
that's how i try to show you how much i love you

Even when you're gone
Somehow you come along
Just like a flower poking the sidewalk crack and just like that
You steal away the rain and just like that

Your hug means so much to me
more than jewels ever would
your hand over my shoulder
is like a blanket that keeps
the rain of the world away
your smile is like the rainbow
it makes me wanna kiss you silly

You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed, sing like bird
Dizzy in my head, spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh, you make me smile

I like how you always give in to me
how you let me bully you
then tell you how much i love you
I like how you help me hold my things
without so much as a complain
I like how you go to chinatown with me
and do lame stuff like watch the birds
I like how you always put me first
being so selfless and concerned

Don't know how I lived without you
Cuz everytime that I get around you
I see the best of me inside your eyes
You make me smile
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild

I'm not sure if you know
But you are my first love
I've had boyfriends
but i can't say i loved them
you, you are the only one
that makes my heart beat this way
that make me think of the future
of forever...

You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed, sing like bird
Dizzy in my head, spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh, you make me smile

you make all the love songs make sense
you make all the romance novels seem real
you make me wanna dance in the rain
you make me shy for being me
yet want to show you all of my heart
I want to be your anything too.
My everything...

2010-04-15T00:07:00.004+08:00

I'll sing it
One last time for you
Then we really have to go
You've been the only thing
That's right
In all I've done

And I can barely look at you
But every single time I do
I know we'll make it anywhere
Away from here

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you
Can't raise your voice to say

To think
I might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say
Our long goodbye
I nearly do

Light up

Slower slower
We don't have time for that
All I want is
To find an easier way
To get out
Of our little heads

Have heart my dear
We're bound to be afraid
Even if
It's just for a few days
Making up for all this mess

i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry
sorry for feeling this way
for saying things i don't mean
for not always being there
for making you wait for forever
sorry for hurting your heart
sorry for taking it out on you
sorry for not being able to cheer you up
sorry for loving you less
sorry sorry sorry
sorry for not being good enough

2010-04-14T08:12:00.003+08:00

I can't take it anymore
it's like walking around in circles that never end
It's like being stupid over and over again
It's like putting my face in your palms
waiting to get slapped

Seems like just yesterday
You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight
Everything, it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong
Now I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on

I used to believe in all the lies
telling myself it'll be ok
telling myself
it's just a phase
but it's not
i realize that now
I'm going crazy just seeing you everyday

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

Ppl who know me know i hardly ever cry
who hardly ever see me cry
I think it was only once
I hate to give you the pleasure of seeing me sad
but i can't hold the fort no more
i'm breaking down
and one day...
i swear, i'm gonna scream in your face

I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside
'Cause I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hangin' on

I don't understand it
don't understand you
how did i even choose this path in the first place
how did i believe in all your masquerade
i see it all now
all so clear to me
just can't wait to get this over and done with

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

Everyday it's the same
all a pretense
all a facade
I don't expect more from you
it's too much to ask
for you to at least once
be real in front of me

Swallow me then spit me out
For hating you, I blame myself
Seeing you it kills me now
No, I don't cry on the outside
Anymore...
Anymore...

Well too bad...
for me...
i'm just gonna have to suck it up
and go crazy everyday
but one day...
just one day...
i wanna see how you feel when i treat you the same
don't think you realize how much people
hate your face

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes (x2)

can't wait for the year to end
then i wouldn't have to ver face you agin
running to africa
or anywhere else
is haven...

2010-04-12T22:59:00.003+08:00

This goes hand in hand with my previous post
I might be scared but i'm not unsure
I do know what I feel
I know you feel it too.
So i just wanna say that
I'm not sorry about us
I don't regret.

Friday night beneath the stars,
in a field behind your yard,
you and I are paintin' pictures in the sky.
And sometimes we don't say a thing;
just listen to the crickets sing.
Everything I need is right here by my side.
And I know everything about you
I don't wanna live without you.

I hope you know that you really do make me smile
I don't think I need to say much
It's just that you bring me so much joy
I can't help but want to keep you forever
I know it's wrong
but if you ever try to leave
i'll tie you up, i swear.

[Chorus:]
I'm only up when you're not down.
Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground.
It's like no matter what I do.
Well you drive me crazy half the time;
the other half I'm only trying to
let you know that what I feel is true.
And I'm only me when I'm with you.

I've never said it but I will follow you
wherever you go...
No matter what you do
I want to be there for you
I will work hard to be the girl
that you can count on
that you can be proud of.
I want you to be able to say
that we are equals in this relationship
that all we had, have and ever will will be the same
or maybe even more...

Just a small town boy and girl
livin' in a crazy world.
Tryin' to figure out what is and isn't true.
And I don't try to hide my tears.
The secrets or my deepest fears.
Through it all nobody gets me like you do.
And you know everything about me.
You say that you can't live without me.

Whenever you look back
I want you to know that I'll be there
I want to be everything you need
I want to make you smile each day
Whenever you need someone
I want you to know that i'm a phone call away
I want you know that i won't change
I want to take away all your troubles
and frustrations...

[Chorus]

When I'm with anybody else it's so hard to be myself.
Only you can tell.

I'd like you to know that i think you are da best!
That you are the first who makes me want
to be with you every sec of my free time
I like how you look when you play the guitar
when you sing the our song
I like how you feel when you sit beside me
quietly looking at me
I like how you don't mind spending time
with all my friends

[Chorus:]
That I'm only up when you're not down.
Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground.
It's like no matter what I do.
Well you drive me crazy half the time;
the other half I'm only trying to let you know that what I feel is true.
And I'm only me
Who I wanna be
Well, I'm only me when I'm with you
With you

I like you...and even more

2010-04-12T00:43:00.002+08:00

I like the way you wanted me
Every night for so long baby
I like the way you needed me
Every time things got rocky

I was believing in you
Was I mistaken do you say
Do you say what you mean
I want our love to last forever

(Chorus)
But I'd rather you be mean than love and lie
I'd rather hear the truth and have to say goodbye
I'd rather take a blow at least then I would know
But baby don't you break my heart slow

I like the way you'd hold me
Every night for so long baby
I like the way you'd sing to me
In the middle of the night when you were sleeping

I was believing in you
Was I mistaken do you mean
Do you mean what you say
When you say our love could last forever

(Chorus)
Cause I'd rather you be mean than love and lie
I'd rather hear the truth and have to say goodbye
I'd rather take a blow at least then I would know
But baby don't you break my heart slow

(Bridge)
You would run around and lead me on forever
While I wait at home still thinking we're together
I wanted our love to last forever

(Chorus)
But I'd rather you be mean than love and lie
I'd rather hear the truth and have to say goodbye
I'd rather take a blow at least then I would know
But baby don't you break my heart slow

Than love and lie
I'd rather hear the truth and have to say goodbye
I'd rather take a blow at least then I would know
But baby don't you break my heart slow
Baby, don't you break my heart slow

2010-04-11T23:48:00.003+08:00

For some weird reason i'm feelin really emo tonight
I know i should have stopped thinking so much
but i just can't help it
I'm so scared. When night comes i hug myself tight
and try to remember the happy moments
but it's there bugging me...

I've been asking myself this question over and over again
Is love the game that no matter how I try I'll never win?
It's like tryna write a love story but runnin out of ink in the pen
Suspense
Like a fairy tale beginning but you never find out how it ends

That's the worst part
that i'll never know for sure
not till we've spent 7 years together
It just reminds me to treasure him more
All the stories that i'm hearing
All the break-ups that i'm seeing
All the girls that are better than me...

So I often wonder if I'll ever
(ooh, if I'll ever find true love)
Like the sun has summer, rain has thunder
(What am I afraid of?)

I know, i really do
that this is so unlike me
that this is not what i'm supposed to be doing
not at this time, not this way
Somebody please tell me what should i do
I just can't forget.

If I'm afraid to love
If I'm afraid of love
I wanna know
Cause if I'm afraid to love
(afraid of love)
Then how will ever find the one?
How will I ever find the one?
The one (x2)
How will I ever find the one?
(the one)

It's useless to tell you to promise me
even though i've done it
I don't really believe in promises that go on forever
All the stories of how people change
of having seen change myself
How many success stories are there...

Tell me why is it the closer I get, I run away?
It's like standing in the mirror
When my reflection looks the other way
Outside I'm smiling
But the truth is that I'm crying inside
(I'm tryin)
It's like tryin to write a perfect song
But I can't come up with the last line
(So I)

i've never doubted your love
Or doubted my feelings for you
It's just that i know
no matter how many times
i'm gonna say don't break my heart
It doesn't work that way
when it comes, it comes...

So I often wonder if I'll ever
(ohh if I'll ever find true love)
Like the sun has summer, rain has thunder
What if I'm afraid to love?

I guess...
you'll never really know till it comes
and till then i shouldn't be so worried
Since i've already said yes
My heart thuds with dread when my mind drifts
every time i hear annoyance in your voice
even if i'm not the cause, i'm scared

If I'm afraid to love
(If I'm afraid to love)
If I'm afraid of love
(If I'm afraid of love)

That's the real reason why I like to hold your hand
why I like to have you close
why I put my head on your shoulder
It make me feel that you're there
that you're here
and that you won't run away
It's so not me to be so sticky
but this feeling inside...

Cause if I'm afraid of love
Then how will I ever find the one (How will I find? How will I find?)
The one (x3)
How will I ever find the one?
Tell me, how will I ever find the one?
How will I ever find the one?
How will I ever find the one?...

i'm sorry...so sorry...

2010-04-11T14:01:00.003+08:00

Couldn't decide which song to use
so i decided to use one last night/ this morn
and one in the afternoon
after i wake up
reaching home at that ungodly hour...
so here goes...

Some say it's going too fast
I'm not sure if it's true
all I know is that i wanna spend
every minute of my life with you
This is so not me
i'm not the kinda girl that can stand
living 50 years with the same guy
but for some reason
i just can't get bored of you

I don't know but
I think I maybe
Fallin' for you
Dropping so quickly
Maybe I should
Keep this to myself
Waiting 'til I
Know you better

you make me smile
whenever you are near
you surprise me
whenever i least expect it
You make my friends so jealous
with your love to me
I think...
i could actually live like this
till forever...

*I am trying
Not to tell you
But I want to
I'm scared of what you'll say
So I'm hiding what I'm feeling
But I'm tired of
Holding this inside my head

sometimes i feel bad
that you're not my first
and that you don't mind
cos me being your first
makes me scared that i'll not be your last
but with the way you're
going on...

#I've been spending all my time
Just thinking about ya
I don't know where to
I think I'm fallin' for you
I've been waiting all my life
And now I found ya
I don't know where to
I think I'm fallin' for you
I'm fallin' for you

I just wanna say that...
i believe you.
I believe it when you say
those 3 words
I believe it when you say forever
I believe it when you hug me close

As I'm standing here
And you hold my hand
Pull me towards you
And we start to dance
All around us
I see nobody
Here in silence
It's just you and me

I'll never forget those times
it seems like there's no need for words
just with us side by side is more than enough
holding hands.
I think that i'm starting to understand
what you mean when you say
all we need is each other
*
#

Oh I just can't take it
My heart is racing
The emotions keep spinning out

#
Sometimes i think
we spend too much time with each other
Other times I think time is never enough
It makes me so happy i smile to myself
at night in bed
I smile when i'm alone
and everyone thinks that i'm crazy

I can't stop thinking about it
I want you all around me
And now I just can't hide it
I think I'm fallin' for you (x2)

I'm fallin' for you
Oh I'm fallin' for you

I know you know
but i'm gonna say it again
you make me a happy girl...

2010-04-11T05:10:00.005+08:00

This week was just crazy and blissful
all mixed together, all jumbled
you've got me so silly and crazily happy
For some weird reason
I can't stop smiling when i see your face

Thing about love is I never saw it coming
You kinda crept up into me by surprise
And now there's a voice inside my heart that's got me wondering
Is this true?
I wanna hear it one more time

Nobody has ever thought you capable
of all the words and things you do for me
and you don't know how much more i fall for you
It seems like a dream which i'll never wake up from

Move in a little closer
Take it to a whisper
Get just a litter louder

It makes me so scared, so blissfully scared
I can't imagine life without you anymore
I used to think that i love you more
than you loved me
how wrong i was...
you were just more reserved

Say it again for me
Cause I love the way it feels when you are telling me that i'm
the only one who blows your mind
Say it again for me
It's like the whole world starts to listen
when you tell me you're in love
Say it again

I do realize that it doesn't matter if
i'm the one you acted first or said it first
cos you love me all the same.
Your love seems like a blessing
that i never knew i would have
and you're like an angel in disguise
watching over me, loving me with all your heart

The thing about you is you know just how to get me
You talk about us like there's no end in sight
The thing about me is that
I really wanna let you open the door and walk into my life

I really feel like i'm the luckiest girl in town
walking down the street hand in hand
I know that no matter what i can rely on you
the security you offer is priceless
you really make me feel so loved

Move in a little closer
Take it to a whisper
Get just a litter louder

I know that you're changing for me
and you give in to me all the time
it makes me just want to hide in your shadows
You mean so much to me
more than you'll ever know

Say it again for me
Cause I love the way it feels when you are telling me that
i'm the only one who blows your mind
Say it again for me
It's like the whole world starts to listen
when you tell me you're in love

I know i don't say it out
and i'm always saying mean things
i don't mean...
but through my actions
i hope you know
how i feel towards you

And it feels like it's the first time
That anybody's ever brought the sun without the rain
And never in my whole life
Have I heard words as beautiful as when you say my name

You make me feel like crying with joy
you make the rain go away
When you smile i just get this bubbly feeling inside
when you are angry i'm so worried
it's not funny...
The little things you do
make me feel like it's all worth it

Say it again for me
Cause I love the way it feels when you are telling me that i'm
the only one who blows your mind
Say it again for me I
t's like the whole world starts to listen
when you tell me you're in love

All the things you say
that i say is mushy...
yes i love it inside
but if one day you were to stop
i think i'll understand why
so yea...i hope you know
how i feel inside

Say it again
Say it again
Say it again (x3)
When you tell me you're in love
Say it again

time stops when we're together
and everyday is a brand new experience
The love we have is like bread,
fresh everyday...

2010-04-02T22:30:00.004+08:00


I shall mix the language here
so that it's easier for some ppl to infer

I just wanna say i'm sorry
for all the tantrums i've thrown
for all the uncomfortable silences that i've made
For all the times i make you work your brain
for not telling you why i'm upset
for having sudden fits of moodiness
It's just my way of wanting to know you care
终于做了这个决定 
别人怎么说我不理 
只要你也一样的肯定 
我愿意天涯海角都随你去
我知道一切不容易 
我的心一直温习说服自己 
最怕你忽然说要放弃

I know you won't be angry
I know you don't mind
but that only makes me more guilty
You letting me have my way
Indulging me, telling me it's part
of the package
It scares me cos i've never felt this way
I can't help but like you more each day
爱真的需要勇气 
来面对流言蜚语 
只要你一个眼神肯定 
我爱你的意义(我的爱就有意义)

I'm scared. really really scared.
Thought you should know.
I don't want it to be like my previous
relationship. or like any i've seen around me.
I don't want it to start
cos I never want to see an end
you said you need courage
but so do I
我们都需要勇气 
去相信会在一起 
人潮拥挤我能感觉你 
放在我手心你的真心

I know that you won't and can't promise
anything you can't deliver
so you won't promise me forever
I know that i'm just giving you more troubles
but i can't help it.
It hurts so much to think about the possibilities
终于做了这个决定
别人怎么说我不理
只要你也一样的肯定 
我愿意天涯海角都随你去
我知道一切不容易
我的心一直温习说服自己 
最怕你忽然说要放弃

I'm so sorry for all the times when
I'm not sure of myself
or when i'm being petty
It's just that you mean a lot to me
It makes me sad to think of you
as someone that might leave my side
爱真的需要勇气 
来面对流言蜚语 
只要你一个眼神肯定 
我爱你的意义(我的爱就有意义)

I've always been the kinda girl
who feels that what's yours is yours
I still feel that way
but i really don't wanna know
that you're not mine
I pray each day for God to give me a sign
if you're not meant to be
then please hurry and leave
我们都需要勇气 
去相信会在一起 
人潮拥挤我能感觉你 
放在我手心你的真心

Sometimes you make me sad
with all the things that i do
that affects you
i hope you know
how much you affect me too...
如果我的坚强任性 
会不小心伤害了你 
你能不能温柔提醒 
我虽然心太急更害怕错过你 
but i really really like you

2010-04-01T15:03:00.004+08:00

It seems like really long ago

That we could talk about

everything under the sun

Now I can't even look at you

without wanting to cry

Did you forget

That I was even alive

Did you forget

Everything we ever had

Did you forget

About me

I want to turn back time

I want everything to return

to back where it used to be

But I know no matter how hard I try

I can't, we can't

return back

Did you regret

Ever standing by my side

Did you forget

What we were feeling inside

Now I'm left to forget

About us

I don't know about you

But it hurts it really does

The things that go on in my life

still revolves around you

But you don't even call anymore

*But somewhere we went wrong

We were once so strong

Our love is like a song

You can't forget it

So now I guess

This is where we have to stand

I've always thought that

it'd be fine if we parted

That we weren't that close yet

But it does hurt when you say sorry

i'm not free

Did you regret

Ever holding my hand

Never again

Please don't forget

Don't forget

The number of "if only"s

Are too many to count

If you never say I'll never know

And if I never asked

we'll still be pretending all's okay.

We had it all

We were just about to fall

Even more in love

Than we were before

I won't forget

About us

I'll always have a part of you in here

in my heart

All the memories and fun

the tears and joy

And at last

All the pictures have been burned

And all the past

Is just a lesson that we've learned

I won't forget

Please don't forget us

i've always supported you

always knew you better than anyone

I've always stood up for you

but you break my heart

But somewhere we went wrong

Our love is like a song

But you won't sing along

You've forgotten

About us

It's not about you

It's him...

2010-03-31T12:50:00.008+08:00

I've found the lyrics to the song in my heart
you don't know how sick and tired i am
I can't wait to escape
It's become an subconscious thought in my head
I feel my wings have broken in your hands
I feel the words unspoken inside

What did i do to deserve this
It was my own choice
but there's really no reason
for you to act this way
*When they pull you under
And I would give you anything you want
Well all I wanted
^All my dreams have fallen down
Crawling around somebody save me
And two warm hands break right through me

I hate this feeling inside
I'm too tired to even cry
Too stressed for tears to flow
Can't breathe when i face you anymore
#Somebody save me
I don't care how you do it
Just stay
Stay
Come on
I've been waiting for you

It scares me the feeling i have inside
I think you do realize
how broken I am
Sometimes i think of ending it all
just wait i tell my self
wait
I see the world has folded in your heart
I feel the waves crash down inside

*/^/#

It tears me apart to feel this way
Don't know what to do
Helpless till the end
All i can do is wait
just one more day
I've made this whole world shine for
Just stay
Stay
Come on
I'm still waiting for you

I'm breaking apart
I'll never be myself again
I can't think
I can't see your face anymore

2010-03-29T09:33:00.002+08:00

There are no lyrics to describe how i feel
it's all too complicated and crazy.
Please somebody take me away.
I want to run as far as I can go
I don't wanna feel no more.
It hurts so bad.

I don't wanna see her face again
don't feel like seeing her no more
I can't help it
I don't like it here.
Please somebody save me.

2010-03-29T00:21:00.004+08:00

You've changed. Or at least I think you do.
Why does this keep happening.
I don't understand you anymore
I close my eyes and remember
the old times we had.
I miss you
Miss you so bad
I don't forget you
Oh it's so sad.

I want to shout in your face
to make you listen
to wake you up
can't you see what you're doing to yourself
I hope you can hear me
I remember it clearly.

And now, you'll never be the same
or at least we won't. There's just too many things
happening at once. the path gone can't be recovered
[Chorus]
The day you slipped away.....
Was the day i found
It, won't be the same

There's just too many regrets for me
I feel disappointed and sad at the same time
I can't pretend that i'm not angry
I just don't understand you anymore
I didn't get around to kiss you
Goodbye on the hand
I wish that I could see you again
I know that I can't
I hope you can hear me
Cause I remember it clearly

Don't you think that you should do something
perhaps not, but I think that it's not anything else
it's just you. I don't know why it has changed
so suddenly
[Chorus]
The day you slipped away...
Was the day i found
It, won't be the same

Maybe i just wasn't willing to see from the beginning
Maybe you were like this all along
I t breaks my heart to see you this way
I've had my wake up
Won't you wake up
I keep asking why.
And I can't take it
It wasn't fake it
It happened you passed by

Don't you know that you're only hurting yourself
We're not trying to fight you
I don't know why you feel this way
Can't you see what's best for you
Now you're gone
Now you're gone
There you go
There you go
Somewhere I can't bring you back

I think you know deep inside
you're just not opening your eyes
I still love you as much as before
Now you're gone
Now you're gone
There you go
There you go
Somewhere you're not coming back

[Chorus]X2

I miss you~

2010-03-28T09:52:00.004+08:00

我想用华语他才看不懂
我们其实没有认识很久，
可是。。。
已经忘记了到底等待了多久
你还没把那句话说出口
街上的情侣手牵着手我们只有沉默
这种感觉有些尴尬
每个人也在问我们什么时候

或许这不是最好的时机
或许你肯本没有那么想
*从朋友到恋人究竟多少步骤
你永远只会静静看着我
期待着某天会萌芽结果
会不会就这样落空
我知道你不会主动
但你知道我会等你

当别人问起，我会否认
我只会微笑说
我们是好朋友还只是好朋友
但朋友的线我们早跨过
脑海里头总是充满你的笑容
我知道你也有同样的感受
但如果我是错的告诉我
不要这样玩我

我知道比有些心结要解决
所以到现在
我们是好朋友还只是好朋友
如果没勇气会这样错过
一句话就够其他都别多说
我等着你开口说爱我
你知道我不会说
或许不是命中注定

*
你对我来说很珍贵
我不想失去你这个朋友
多少寂寞
因为有你的陪伴而渡过
不要想的太多
想想曾有的不该没把握
可能我再等多一下
就会有结果我常对自己说

我想暗示你，但你也没什么反应
你到底知不知道我心里的念头
我们是好朋友还只是好朋友
在这个位置等待了多久
紧紧守着彼此我们都能够接受
为何要留下为什么
你要是不喜欢那为什么这样
留下那么多问号是为什么

难道是我读错你没有感觉吗
这暧昧的感觉好难受你明不明白
我们是好朋友还只是好朋友
如果没勇气会这样错过
一句话就够其他都别多说
我等着你开口说爱我
说你爱我

~~end~~

2010-03-25T01:34:00.005+08:00

I'm gonna say that I'm not just some weak fragile little girl
I'm not as vulnerable as i may seem to be
I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
But you, you just break my heart
and i can't cry, not anymore, the tears are dry

I know that i'm not being overly sensitive
I just think that i've lost you on the way, down the road
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while even though
Goin' on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm okay
But that's not what gets me
You don't understand what has gone wrong
You still think that all is fine
But I've already gone on so far

My heart bleeds from the love that i've given
You've changed so much, so fast
What hurts the most
Was being so close
And havin' so much to say
And watchin' you walk away
I'm not sure if you realize my change in attitude
I don't think the new you understands me enough

It saddens me that our relationship could have been different
I always say time will tell, but there's no more time
I kinda regret it, for you and me
And never knowin'
What could've been
And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was tryin' to do
I've never said it cos i didn't want to spoil the friendship we had
but you spoiled it anyway

I feel so desolated and i don't understand why it's like this
Is there really no way to change it anymore
It's hard to deal with the pain of losin' you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' it
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still harder gettin' up, gettin' dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken
I don't want them anymore, I want to throw them away
I say i've forgotten, i've let go
But in actual fact it there, just hidden deeper than ever

*Chorus

I'm sorry but we can't just be friends anymore
We're less than friends,but i'll always
have the old you here, in my heart.

2010-03-09T22:49:00.005+08:00

There are so many thing going on these days.
I don't know what to do anymore.
It seems like time is slipping away
there are days where i just feel like
curling up and listen to the rain fall.
I can hear the truck tires coming up the gravel road
And it's not like her to drive that slow, nothing's on the radio
Footsteps on the front porch, I hear my doorbell
She usually comes right in, now I can tell

I've finally realized that it's all wrong
that everything that i've been doing
is not for the greater good
it was just me being delusional.
So i think that perhaps, to all my
struggle to keep things where they are,
Here comes goodbye
Here comes the last time
Here comes the start of every sleepless night
The first of every tear I'm gonna cry

It's not going to be easy
I already miss what i'm going to let go.
but, it's something that i have to do.
Something i tell myself i'm not going to regret.
Here comes the pain
Here comes me wishing things had never changed
And she was right here in my arms tonight
But here comes goodbye

My heart feels so heavy
like i'll drown if i fall into the water
I close my eyes to pray
that'll i'll be happier this way
I can hear her say "I love you" like it was yesterday
And I can see it written on her face that she had never felt this way
One day I thought I'd see her with her daddy by her side
And violins would play Here Comes The Bride

[chorus]

Is it only a dream unable to come true,
only time can tell i guess.
I'm really really going to give this love up.
Why's it have to go from good to gone?
Before the lights turn on Yeah, and you're left alone
Oh! But here comes goodbye! Oh!

[chorus]

I guess it's really goodbye my love.
You'll probably never know.
It's not that bad,
i'll heal, i know i will.
And i'll never know if you felt the same...

2010-03-09T22:34:00.003+08:00

I've been so stressed this week
so stressed that every single
little thing will drive me insane.
Till today, i realize that i've been
neglecting so many things in my life.

i've always felt that i was
struggling along in my life
and that no one could understand.
It seems like there no end to this struggle.
That it will go on for forever.

But i know now that i've been looking
at the small picture of everything.
That the world doesn't revolve
on my pain alone.
That i've been too focused on things that
SEEMED to matter.

I have to learn to widen my scope
and look at the big picture.
I'll have to know what really matters
and not blindly listen to all the things
around me, surrounding me.

When i saw my baby cousin today,
i realize that innocence is not
the amount of knowledge that you know
but the attitude you have towards others.
You laugh just because they laugh.

It's not stupidity.
it simple joy.
My cousin, she laughs like an angel,.
i don't think she truly understands
what i'm laughing about, but she laughs
with so much happiness
it's astounding.

She makes it seem that there is no sadness
in this cold cruel world.
Than i understand the truth.
It's not that world is cold and cruel,
it's just that i've grown to judge others that way.

Perhaps it's time for me to learn how
to laugh again. How to laugh simply.
Just for the plain reason that i'm happy
because you are.
Perhaps that's the real meaning of true love.
Being able to smile even when it hurts inside.

It's not a forced smile,
it's true happiness stemmed from yours....

2010-03-05T01:34:00.004+08:00

Waking up I see that everything is OK
The first time in my life and now it's so great
Slowing down I look around and I am so amazed
I think about the little things that make life great

I wouldn't change a thing about it
This is the best feeling

[Chorus]
This innocence is brilliant
I hope that it will stay
This moment is perfect
Please don't go away
I need you now
And I'll hold on to it
Don't you let it pass you by

I found a place so safe, not a single tear
The first time in my life and now it's so clear
Feel calm, I belong, I'm so happy here
It's so strong and now I let myself be sincere

I wouldn't change a thing about it
This is the best feeling

[Chorus]

It's a state of bliss, you think you're dreaming
It's the happiness inside that you're feeling
It's so beautiful it makes you wanna cry
It's a state of bliss, you think you're dreaming
It's the happiness inside that you're feeling
It's so beautiful it makes you wanna cry

It's so beautiful it makes you wanna cry
This innocence is brilliant
Makes you wanna cry
This innocence is brilliance
Please don't go away
Cause I need you now
And I'll hold on to it
Don't you let it pass you by

[Chorus]

2010-03-05T01:19:00.001+08:00

Sometimes in our lives we all have pain
We all have sorrow
But if we are wise
We know that there's always tomorrow

Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

Please swallow your pride
If I have things you need to borrow
For no one can fill those of your needs
That you don't let show

Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

If there is a load you have to bear
That you can't carry
I'm right up the road
I'll share your load
If you just call me

So just call on me brother, when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you'd understand
We all need somebody to lean on

Lean on me when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
Till I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

2010-03-05T00:52:00.005+08:00

Sigh...big sigh...BIGGER SIGH...

This week was filled with
ups and downs, left and rights
So many things that were right
so many that were wrong too.

The force of motivation has now changed
I have to do it with ALL of God's will
none of my strength.
Soo, Soo tired.
But no.....

I must scrape myself off the floor
no matter what.
I am RACHEL the STUBBORN right?
Really,
who am I to say who's right
Who's wrong?

As i student, all i have to do is accept
and work at it.
Sometimes i feel like, just ending it all.
then i realize that I've forgotten to drink my coffee
for the day.
no wonder half/ fully insane.

So,
Rachel! You MUST fight!
All the way.
No giving up!
You just have to grit your teeth and do.
It'll be over soon. in 2 more months.

So get it done and over with.
You can and you must!
ok that was soo...prep talk.

But i can't deny that i've been feeling
lousy and loww these couple of days.
Complicated stuff.
So i tell myself,
i better pray hard
and even harder to pick my wounded self
off the mud, pick up my broken
bones and scattered insides
as well as my body parts and
trudge through whatever i need to.

GAMBATTE_NE!!!!

2010-02-24T08:45:00.004+08:00

Forgetfulness - a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience. -Ambrose Bierce

Haha. I'm like sitting in the library no
with Shuana, mass blogging!
Actually it's just the two of us...so yea.

Anws..
I'm like super stressed this week.

Shauna or nay other classmates
in that matter, can testify.
I'm like a time-bomb.
And i go crazy all the time
forgetting to bring stuff.

Today i forgot to bring
Mivio her black ballet flats
that she needs for Founder's day dance.
I'm so sorry.
Apparently, 3 other girls also didn't bring
so we're all fighting for the one in the black studio.
Bleh.

I totally like neeeedddd sleeeeppp
that or a boyfriend.
Something or someone who can cheer me up
no matter when and where.
It seems to be getting harder these days.
Not even food can cheer me up.
i don't even feel like eating.

We're gonna have cross-country today and
SOMEONE decided that it was ok NOT
to COME to SCHOOL.
yarr...right!
So now, me and Shauna will be going to dinner
WITHOUT HER

though i don't think she's bothered
cos she'll be hanging out with her boyfriend.
Leaving us two single-ladies
to fend for ourselves
*sad face*

My prayer for today
is to be so not insane
and to be the girl
that everyone can love
once again.

2010-02-22T00:32:00.005+08:00

haha. i'm totally like spamming posts here!!!

I kinda quarreled with my good friend
and although we've made up
I feel that everything is sooo fake
And i just
Can’t count on you most of all when I really need it
It’s the simple things that you do really hurt my feelings
The more I try, the more I’m starting to see it
This can’t work anymore, than you believe it

So i was thinking that
we've become a love-hate relationship
and maybe breaking up a while could be better
Goodbye may come as a shock
Even though I love you a lot
I’ve given every breath I’ve got
Sometimes you gotta break down and breathe
But i just can't let go you know.
it really really hurts.

You always say how i'm being insensitive
and that I'm the one in wrong.
but doesn't it take two hands to clap?
Add how many times I gave my heart
To how many times we fell apart
And it equals
A promise in the dark
So don’t promise me
I really doubt it every time you say
We're best friends!
Do you really know what that really means?

sometimes i feel that i'm the only one in pain
and you really think that all is fine.
Are we really nothing?
I may be nice but i get jealous too.
Add how many times I gave you me
Divided by so many memories
And it equals
A promise in the dark
So don’t promise me
I know its selfish but i just cannot
I know true love doesn't do that
but i can't. i'm dying
can't you see.

2010-02-22T00:15:00.004+08:00

so many things have been happening this month
i feel like crying and laughing at the same time.
At my stupidity and idiocy.
how could have believed anything i don't now.
how can anything go in my brain at all.
i feel so shitty.

Sorry for rambling. Just needed to siao a while.
Anyways...
I'm thinking of doing a Vlog (video blog)
but i need a video cam to do that
and i just don't have the money or time to buy one
so i'm still thinking. hmm..

I think it'll be like super interesting
cos my life is full of crazy and hilarious stuff
that i just wanna share with my friends
but you know, sometimes you can't say it
as well as do it. so...yups

i've been saying lots of Bleh.
nowadays don't know why. hmm...

Ya soo...if anyone is interested in buyiing me
a video cam i will be very very very eternally
GRATEFULLLLLL....
hontoni arigato!
But i doubt anyone would unless
he has too much money
or desperately wants to marry me
which probably will never happen.

haha. Love the new show
Down with love (taiwan drama)
it's not a chinese version of the english movie
Different okay...
super nice. It's like weird but cute pairing. haha.
I love. (^.^)"

so anyway just wanna say that
i do love my life and i'm crazy.
ok STOP now.
Rachel Stop. S-T-O-Pppppp
NOWwwww....ok stop.

i'm mad.

2010-02-21T23:56:00.002+08:00

好像很久很久都没有用到话语了
所以今天就用一下吧。
最近一直在想一些朋友之间的问题
老实说，我承认我不是一个完美的朋友
我有很多很多的缺点。
可是我超讨厌和朋友吵架
这是令我十分伤心极痛苦的事。

我想说我会学的，学会做一个好朋友。

我会有耐心，体谅你，不吹你
我会体贴你，尽量保护你
我会在你身边，用心听你诉苦
我答应不乱发脾气，不生气。

我会为你着想，不会逼你做不喜欢的事情
我会乖乖听你，不怀疑你
我会试着了解你，不介意你龟毛
我答应很爱恨爱你，每人能代替。

2010-01-04T23:20:00.002+08:00

I've not blogged for a long long time.
but i just have to say many things today.
I had dance rehearsal in school today,
and people who know me well
will know that i hate dancing.

i say again, i just detest dancing.
It's not really cos i'm the fat girl
that cannot dance,
just that dancing is not,
N-O-T, NOT in my blood.
It's just not me.

But after i've joined this cca,
i've no choice but to dance.
You can say that i'm being forced
or perhaps I'm the kind that just can't say no.
either way, i had to start picking up dance.

At first, when i started, i really could not stand
every single session of moaning and groaning
of stretches and workouts.
Sometimes i even envy those girls with dance
background and can easily get the dance moves.

I can't or rather, I cannot.
I've no bit of hippy groovey bitsy blood in my veins
sigh...It's hard to admit but I can't dance.
somehow though, after years (or what seems like it)
of training and dancing so many different dances,
i realize that maybe i'm not that bad after all.

I'm in my cca's open house dance and i find it...
surprisingly, quite enjoyable.
I'm not being scolded every rehearsal which is
a relief. but i'm not sure i'm entirely safe.
you never know till you've finish the dance.
nevertheless, i'm quite happy at my own
improvement! yay!

In a blink of an eye, 2010 is here!
I really don't know if i should be gald or sad.
2010 has so many things to do and i'm kinda
apprehensive in overcoming all the obstacles.
but no matter what, i know i have the support of my friends
and most importantly, God's strength!

So my new year resolution is simple.
To become closer to god.

I Pray

I pray each day be a brand new day
fill with love, peace and joy
let me not keep too many grievances
that will cause me to cry.

Let me not bottle up true feelings i wanna say
for too long a time, be it a day
May each minute be a reminder
of His beauty and grace.

I pray for forgiveness for every sin I have
May God cleanse me, a whole new slate again
Let each small miracle be filled in my life
To show me each creation's will to survive

And if I be weary or tired or sad
Let sunshine and wind and rain flush my face
And if I forget the true meaning of life
God, remind me to pray once again.

I pray.

There we go!
My new year resolution!
Happy 2010 everybody!

2009-10-27T20:17:00.002+08:00

I think that i'm the
worst person on earth.
I totally like ignored this
close friend for 2 days.
And he still tries so hard
to understand what's wrong.

And it's all cos a small issue.
I know i'm being petty
but i just can't help it.
My heart cringes every time
i think of the incident.
The worst part is:
He's my crush.

You would think that i should
be nicer to him.
so that he'll like me more.
But no....
instead i IGNORE him
for 2 whole days.

It's not like i'm his anything
so yea, he doesn't need to
report to me 24/7.
But he told me one thing and did
another, and it doesn't seem to affect him.
Perhaps my bro's right,
to him, it just a small issue.

sighhh...

2009-10-16T10:18:00.003+08:00

OMG! it's raining like siao. now.
And you know what? during AC games
somemore. xian....
Count down: 2 months to Japan trip!
Yay! and double yay!

i've decided to call myself V.M
For Monte Christo. haha. wanna know wat V.M is?
then you'll have to come watch CMC.
damn sad lar.
Publicize also must do it on blog.
haiya.

sooo....cold now.
but truthfully ar i don't mind all the rehearsals.
it's the scrutiny and the mind games that
make me go crazy for like as long as rehersals last.
seriously. Why can't ppl live a happy and relaxed life.
sigh....

Gotta Go now. i PROMISE i'll TRY to update more often!

Ohya. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THESE PEOPLE:

Simmy! my love and darling forever and ever.
Ryan my dear brother. Jia you for O's
CLive! my brother in christ and bestest buddy!

2009-07-12T20:29:00.002+08:00

Whahaha. i finally managed to get in.
i've locked myself outside for months.
YIPEE!!!!
i know...so silly right. sigh....

I'm really not sure why,
but i feel so mentally tired these few days.
my dad's convinced that it cos i've
not enough sleep.
but i really think otherwise.

maybe it's just all the stuff that's been going
or NOT going on around me.
i dunno. Anw, i'm determined to just ignore
all of them. me and my world.

In my world, there's not such thing as politics,
everyone loves each other.
Everyone has an equal chance to become whoever
they want to.
But in my world, ice cream won't make you fat and
chocolate is a health product so that's all
not gonna happen. Too bad!

Because there's no such thing as a perfect world.
that's why these things happen.

so here i am in my pathetic room
in front of my stupid computer thinking.
I lose myself in all these fights
I lose my sense of wrong and right
I cry, I cry
It's shaking from the pain that's in my head
I just wanna crawl into my bed
And throw away the life I led
But I won't let it die, but I won't let it die
no not my heart. i won't.

But i can't. i really can't. i feel so low.
Im all out of faith, this is how I feel
Im cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
Im wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
Youre a little late, Im already torn
All that's left of me is just....
is just...

Ooooooo I ve been travelin on this road to long
Just trying to find my way back home
The old me is dead and gone dead and gone dead and gone
Ooooooo I ve been travelin on this road to long
Just trying to find my way back home
The old me is dead and gone dead and gone eeyy
but i can't right, cos i'm christian. so i can't just
say die and die. and i don't want to end it all
like that. but...

I'm so tired of being here, suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave
Your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
So now i'm stuck here. doing what i do.
thinking what i think. helpless to just
everything.

i really don't know. i don't know what i want.
my heart's desire? i can't even tell myself.
everyday is just another day to surpass this one.
You will never understand what you mean to me
You are my life
Before you, I was lost
And as I see you sleep now
I'll let you know somehow
Saving you saved me
My heart is yours to keep
Now sleep...

2009-05-01T17:04:00.002+08:00

Anyway.
I went out with PALAS today!
We went to ben and jerry's.
yay! super duper fun.
we ate ice cream and
commenced project anti-xxx.
haha.

it was soooo...drama.
I love palas. I love AC.
i really do.
It's not like a propaganda thing.
If i was given a second chance.
i would have still chosen AC.

My friends, my love, my joy is all there.
I love to go to school!
haha.
Ben and jerry's banana split is nice.
Phish food!

2009-05-01T16:51:00.003+08:00

I can't stand it anymore!
My home is like a prison.
Everytime i want to go out
the answer is N-O.
WHY?!!

The question is asked and
the reason is because I said so.
haha. how funny.
I should stay at home.
To help with the housework.
( which i can do it on sat.)
To do homework.
(which i have tonight and sat and sun to do.)
To help my brother
(which he doesn't give a damn about.)

So tell me. what should i stay at home for?
because he said so. because he said no.
RUBBISH!
i'm 17. and still i'm not old enough to go out.
My brother can have a com
but i have to share with my dad.

and thus my constant whining for a com
is me being stubborn and obstinate.
oh wow. how bad of me.
i'm freaking tired of doing all of these.
quarreling all the time on
whether i should go out or not.

Just S_T_O_P.
i'll just lock myself at home and
become one of those girls who is
on the com the whole day and
don't go anywhere.
can I.
NO!
I just wanna be ME!

2009-02-14T19:06:00.003+08:00

I can't stand it ant longer!
What rubbish.
I helped my grandmother make some
Pineapple tarts for CNY.
and LOVE them so i saved myself
a tin.

Then my brother complained that i was selfish
becoz he finished his tin
and one extra one.
while my tin has half left.
So my dad said that i should share.
I said that he finished his already

but my dad said i should either finish it
or let my bro eat cos it's temptation.
What! Rubbish!
If you give three people $100 each.
Just cos someone wants to save it doesn't mean
that he should let the others spend right?!

I'm so irritated that my dad actually thinks this way.
This is soooo NOT! the first time.
He says that he didin't say that i'm in any wrong.
But he doesn't get it that the msg he gives
is that its fine to eat whats not yours
because the other person didin't eat it anyway.

Is that the way?!
Then he scolds me for thinking i'm perfect.
I don't think i'm perfect.
I just think that one should at least be told that
if you finish your stuff, that's it.
If you want somemore,
go buy,
or make what you had last longer.

Is it my fault i eat lesser?
What a big fat lie!!!
I crying super hard now.
for what i don't know.
I hate it so much.
But i can't stop.

God.
Help me and teach me.
God .
Hold me and help me.
God.
I need someone to tell me its ok.
That life doesn't always suck this way.
(pardon the lang.)
That is my prayer for today.

It's raining so hard in my heart.
It overflows into my eyes.

Oh ya. Happy Valentines.

2009-02-09T23:12:00.002+08:00

Yay!!!
we're going swimming tommorrow!!!
blub. blub. blub.

Super duper happy in ACJC!
I feel a song comin on.

I love you palas
deep down in my heart
I love you palas
deep down in my heart

deep deep down down
deep down in my heart.
deep deep down down
deep down in my heart.

YAY!

2009-02-05T23:40:00.002+08:00

Played water games today!
That was fun.
But the starch games was like
haha. ewww...
we played this game where we
had to put a strip of plastic bag into
our shorts (tail-like)
The plastic bag was dipped in
smelly sticky starch!

Then your opponents
would have to pull that tail.
I got mine pulled off by a guy!
I know it's an open society but eww.
And I wasn't even in the boundary.
S***T

So our team lost and the forfeit was
to let our hair be covered in starch.
The other team had like more guys
so mine was done by a guy.
Because he was super rough.
Like washing my hair with starch.
which is impossible.

It gets stuck.
Then after, he started flicking starch at my face.
What the!
It's not that i'm a sore loser.
But really,
guys should learn how to treat girls with care.

I don't mind you putting starch in my hair
but no need to mess it up yea?
even if you had to,
no need to use so much force.
It hurt you know?
Like he was pulling my hair out.
Bleh!

and don't flick stuff at people's face.
That is so rude.
I didn't even resisted.
No need to do starch washing ok...
even if my hair is short
doesn;t mean that i'm boyish lor...
sigh.

Totally boys school only behavior.
Nope sorry. I know people from
boys schools who are gentlemanly too.
Totally ungentlemanly behavior.
HMPH!

We went on our OG outing today!!!
we went BOWLING!
I seriously can't bowl for shit.
I will never never join bowling.
I got like 44.
What kind of nice number is that.
haha.
Oh well.

Tomorrow is mass dance!
Totally looking forward to going crazy!
even if me and my partner are kinda LACK...
hah.
Campfire night tmr!!!
Yipee! Yipee! Woo!

2009-02-03T21:57:00.002+08:00

Today was like super crazy.
we played like a few mud games.
Got sooo dirty that when I went home
to bathe, The soapwater was totally
BROWN.

haha.
I wonder how someone(usually seniors)
pick people to be leaders or in-charge.
Is it looks?
Like if someone looks more responsible.
Or like if they like this person better.

My friend said that after i cut my hair
I look younger and less responsible.
i dunno...Cos i'm not that kind to chat
with seniors. I only say stuff that is needed
to be said.
I can't do the Seniors=Friends thing.
Sooo...I guess i'm like at the disadvantage.

It kinda takes a bit of time.
That doesn't mean i'm not outgoing.
I just...well, need to get used to it.
Sigh....That is so politics.
But I guess I have to learn.

My mom says its being CHARISMATIC.
But thats kinda natural isn't it.
I'm kinda more innocent.
So I don't play politics.
Just Pray. I guess.

ACJC is fun!

2009-02-02T20:42:00.002+08:00

First Day Of School.
It was quite fun.
Truthfully, I didn't think that
there'll be as many girls from my school.
At first shock cos I have this phobia
of St. Nicks girls.

But with God's blessings,
I have made quite a few friends.
Super funny.
I saw a church friend
a tuition friend
a primary school friend
a friend's ex
and a cousin.

haha. New school also have quite a few
FRIENDS!!!
That is the root of all things.
That is the basic need of all people.
yup yup.
Other than that I made new friends too.
To be exact, 5 other than my OG lar.
hehs.

Rachel jia you!
Gambate!
Ajar...hwighting!

2009-01-30T23:12:00.002+08:00

At 6.49 am this morning
A sms was sent to me.
I looked at the sender.
It was a number.
One that I knew not of.

The sms was from MOE
It was to inform me of my posting.
That I had managed
with least expectancy
To ACJC!

haha. That is lan poetry.

Yup yup! so now i'm officially a
JC student.

This way of sending a posting sms
to inform students of their school
is quite cool. sorta high tech.
haha.
You would think of the govt as
full of *ahem* old...er ppl
but guess wat!
They're quite tech savvy too!
haha.

So now i'm praying that i'll be able
to get the eng lang scholarship.
Pray pray pray.
Money money money.
Can't do everything
but no money
also cannot do anything.
sigh...

Anyway tmr i going out with
my frens to some ngee ann thing.
I also realised that i dunno how
to go ACJC.
Oops. :P
But it's ok. I got a cousin in there too!

Sorry. no camera so can't take pictures tmr.
But well...hope to change my phone by next week.

Read your bible pray everyday...
lalalala....

2009-01-20T22:39:00.003+08:00

Busy Busy Busy.
that's how i was the whole of
the last 2 weeks.
what was i busy with?
Well...making pineapple tarts of course!

Its kinda like a family business.
So...today was the last day.
Thus...we has a little fun.
Me and my 2nd aunt made hearts
<3 not as the bottom...but as the top.
Imagine...

round pastry,with flowery edges,
(the kind we used to draw when young,
you know in circular motion)
sitting on top is a semicircle of jam
(pineapple flavored, duh...)
and right on top is a little heart!
(usually we put diamond shaped dough)

Yup yup. the sad thing is...
I can't take a pic cos...
my Camera is spoilt.
Recap:
slept in tent.
raining.
Left tent.(with Cam in it.Stupid me.)
cam got super duper SOAKED!!!
Argh!

So now...i've got on Camera to use.
But...
I've an excuse to buy a neww one :)
Although my dad might say no.
(Ya. He probably will)
But still...I can hope yea?
haha.hah...sigh...

Going to cut my hair reel short.
Just the length of my chin.
think it'll work? i guess i'm gonna try.
Now that i'm older, my hair seems straighter.
so maybe it'll be ok.
*hugs*

2009-01-13T12:48:00.002+08:00

Went to collect my O'level results
Yesterday!!!!
And you know what else?
It was my birthday too.
I was so afraid that i might get
a double digit.

I got 7 pts!!!!
i was so happy i tot i would just die there.
Praise be to God.
I prayed so hard before getting the results.
I was super nervous.

I kept feeling that i would get double digit
that i was too scared to look.
I kept crying and crying
and my friends were like-sigh...
TeeHee.

After that i finally saw the results
ans cried even harder.
My friends tot that I failed or something.
hahas
so YaY! finally over.
Officially cleared!

After that we went to celebrate
my bday and the results at
Kbox!
My friends treated.
Yipee!
we sang alot of songs.
haha

My first time.
*smiles*

2008-12-15T10:23:00.003+08:00

Went to the Science Centre!!!
YAY!!!
with my two brothers of course.
not alone. That would be soo boring.
It was free okay...haha.
given by church. yay!

Quite fun. They've got new stuff.
went to the magic exhibition too.
But just at that moment,
my camera cocked up ND
RAAAAN OUT OF BATTERY.

Sigh....

Ohya. and i got a dog.
well not technically...
cos it's actually my fren's.
She went on holiday so i'm
helping her take care of it.
It's really cute and i insists
it's called Alvis not Elvis.
haha.

we bathed it last Sun and it was
so funny.
wet and shivering and clean!
Very happy now.

11 days to jap class! yay!
1 month to my birthday!
double yay!

todays weather is happy happy happy!

2008-12-02T20:36:00.003+08:00

My baby cousin's 1 month
celebration was just the other day.
she is so cute! Super kawii!
She can kinda smile now...
kinda anyway. In a baby manner.
Hr name is officially
Hong Yi! :)

I went shopping today.
yipee yaya!
I bought a cap for $13.
is it expensive?
My shopping buddies said it's quite cheap.

I really don't know.
i bought it cos i really like it.
but i feel kinda guilty after that.
sigh...I really wanna find a job.
all of my friends have one.
but just because my parents
are really protective
i can't. sigh...

Today's weather is mixed(to)
(jap pronunciation cos i'm watching jap drama now)
Happy and depressed.

2008-11-29T00:14:00.002+08:00

I had a class barbecue today!!!
Super fun!
I think this is the most exciting holiday
i had in 16 years...
hahaha.

Today I realized that i really love my
Tofu Bang.
I'm not sure why, but i feel really nostalgic
suddenly. sigh...
I always thought that i won't really mind
leaving my secondary life.

but now...i'm somewhat unsure.
I...I...don't know if i'm willing to leave.
Boo hoo...I feel like crying.
I feel so sad. So empty.
But the rest all say i'm being cheesy.
*sad...*

Anyway...we went to east coast park
and ate ehh...
chicken, satay, kebab, stingray.
yum~mmy!
only...no fishball...*pouts*
i like fishballs...fishballs best!

The walk to the BBQ pit was so long
I regretted not renting roller blades.
Now my legs are aching like shit.
Sigh...

we tried to buy beer...
but to no avail.* stick out tongue*
hehe. naughty naughty me.
it was ok anyway cos we still
high ourselves.

we got a neighboring table mate
to help us take a photo.
It was a china guy.
In the end, he took 3 times to
get the clicking right.
when he finally did, we cheered together.
so funny. haha.

We taught some guy to help us take a
picture. Mission impossible
Accomplished!
haha.
Today's weather is happy!

2008-11-28T09:18:00.004+08:00

Prom Night

The beautiful view from our HOTEL ROOM!

Our hotel room. messy messy...

Food. Desert buffet. Yummy!

Food. Glorious Food!!!

The mei nu(s) from Tofu Bang(clan)!